Joka Diary - 10/7/2011

I was just going through my drafts, looking for some near-complete post and this caught my eye. It is such a nice memory.. wonder why it got stuck in drafts. Anyways, this will have to be my post for today!

Yesterday was Pari's half birthday, she turned half-an-year older. Papa had already reached Alld. well in time, as did the cake from Dadu. Both nani's and the two favorite mausi's were present for the celebrations, and Pari had a blast. Only caveat being, none of them, absolutely nobody realized that it was her half birthday, except ofcourse mumma, who happens to be too far from the child to make an impact. Pari is exceptionally fond of celebrating birthdays and the family obliges whenever she expresses an inclination for it. Any family gathering is coupled with a cake and some ribbons to transform into a birthday party. She had 4 of them last year.

Now because it was Pari's half-birthday yesterday, it happens to be my birthday today. We are exactly 6 months apart. Being away from home, I didn't expect it to be much. Which is why when the batch invited us for a booze party, I readily grabbed the offer. I didn't want to be alone on my birthday, and a bunch of drunk classmates almost always makes for good entertainment. We reached the boys' hostel around 10.15 am, and lot of snacking, drinking, singing and dancing ensued. I had fun, just by watching people have fun. Around 11.30, I decided to call it a day, and started to leave, but my friends showed reluctance and insisted that we stay on a little more. The boys' hostel is about 400 metres from our hostel and I would've walked back alone but for my fear of the Joka snakes. They are just about everywhere these days. So much that I am actually getting used to them snakes. Anyways, I agreed to wait a bit and at the stroke of midnight, the music changed to the customary birthday song and a cake appeared out of nowhere. I am sure the girls had ratted on me! I know that I am not known for being perceptive but I do take pride in a strong intuition. So, it is rather stupid how I had failed to see through this. The cake cutting was followed by more dancing and we all had a great time.

Now that I think of it, I have not had such an enjoyable birthday in a long time. Also, it felt really special because so far, none of our classmates have been treated to such an elaborate birthday celebration. We are mostly too busy meeting deadlines for assignments to bother about a fellow student growing an year older. In any case, this can easily be my best memory of Joka!

Joka Diary : 11

It is late, very very late for this post. I am writing it only because I am a woman true to her word, and one who keeps her promises. Plenty of water has flown under bridges across the world, since we last met. I somehow scraped through the last term, left for Alld. on 15th, the day the exams got over-- missing the farewell party, spent a glorious fortnight eating, sleeping and eating again, returned to Joka on 30th for the convocation rehearsal and finally convocated on April 2nd, in the august presence of my mom,daughter, husband and his grandparents. It was rather heartening -- 4 generations gathered to witness my 5 secs claim to glory. We left for Delhi the following day after some frantic last minute packing and couriering of stuff. Delhi was fun, with Pari not being around I could cuddle, kiss and play with our very amiable Chia to my heart's content. All good things come to an end, and so did my days of being totally jobless when I landed in Mumbai on 8th to join my new workplace. Yes.. all my Mumbai readers, friends and fans-- please do a chicken dance to celebrate my arrival! I am sure you are all elated and finding it hard to believe your good fortune. Also, if any of you could host us for a week or two, till we find an affordable, decent accomodation, please do not hesitate in approaching us. In case you haven't guessed till now-- WE ARE DESPERATE!!
This post is slated to be my last post under the title, and so, now on we shall talk about and only about my experience in Joka. It has been an enriching and meaningful year for me. I have enjoyed every single day that I have spent there. My only regret is that it passed just too soon. I enjoyed my stay there, in our lush green, pollution-free campus, and my bicycle rides to the college. I enjoyed the food in Bapi Da's mess except for when they made the rajma-parantha-baigan combo. I enjoyed the classes, the animated discussions, lectures, presentations and even the exams. I enjoyed our late evening excursions to Behala, Thakurpukur and Gennex. Probably because I was so out-of-touch with the real world for the last 5 years or so, I found tremendous value in the course, and I think I got my money's worth better than the others, only because I was so clueless and ignorant to begin with! The rest of the class was already quite knowledgable and well-read, and I think I am extremely privileged to have shared a classroom with them. Yes, most of all, I enjoyed the terrific classmates that I had, such bright and sharp people. Initially I did feel uncomfortable as the only person who knew nothing of the world around, but slowly we accepted each other-- I accepted their brilliance, and they, my lack of it. Overall, it was a great group and I think I learnt even more from my peers than my profs. So long Joka, I am going to miss you!

Joka Diary - 10

One week. That is all the time I have left in Joka. Come Thursday and I'll be packing my bags to leave for home. It is a strange feeling. Actually, I should be able to identify with it now, I always feel this way when it is time to say my good-byes. Most people here are extremely thrilled about being reunited with their families, or going back to the corporate world if they are already placed. Others are busy hunting for jobs. I am also looking forward to seeing Pari and being with my family once again. But at the same time, I feel I am going to miss this place and my student life. The uncertainties ahead do nothing to ease my anxiety. And so, I am trying not to think of my life after IIM. But then, what do I think about? The last term is almost over, we had our first exam today. Nobody cares for studies anymore and even less for exams.. I am no different. For now, we are all doing what we enjoy the most. The men are playing cricket, football, running and partying like there is no tomorrow. I am happily idling away my time downloading and watching loads of movies -- old, new, Hindi, English-- all kinds. The song in the last post is a testimony to that. I particularly like watching old, weepy, tragic movies, that suit my current disposition. When I get tired of movies and my eyes and head start hurting, I sleep. I call up home, friends and chat for long. At times, I even attend the classes. And of course, I intend to appear for all the exams. To me, this last lap appears really weird and lackadaisical. That is just not me. How I wish we could finish the race in style, on a high note!
p.s. In this post, I haven't ruminated on my life in Joka during the last 11 months. The last post in this diary, whenever it is done, is reserved for that!

My whole life flashed before me..

..just about 10 minutes back. And I had stopped breathing for close to 8 minutes. It is a miracle that I have survived to share the story and so share I will. I have to fill up a form as part of a job application where the compensations details for the previous job are required. So I go over to my drawer, pull out my files and start looking for the old salary slips, if there are any. I anyways, hopefully, have them in the emails, so not a big worry really. As I go through the 3 files, I do not see the salary slips.. more importantly, I do not see any work-experience related documents. No relieving/joining/appraisal letters! I go through the files again and then again. I start going through the huge stack of papers in the lower cabinet. My study table has 2 drawers, which I use to keep my files of important papers(certificates, mark sheets, IT returns), passport, money, spectacles, pencils, chocolate wrappers, boarding passes, receipts for parlor visits, pizza deliveries & shopping, credit card/electricity bills, check-books, passbooks.. basically only the most important and the most useless stuff that I have. The lower half of the table has a cabinet, where I dump my old books, broken umbrella, camera, polythene bags and.. you get the drift. That is just about how organized and careful I am. Alright, my work-related documents-- I can't find them. And I kid you not, I feel so giddy and light-headed. I have already lost a couple of extra-curricular certificates after coming to Joka, probably during the verification process, and had to remove those from my as-it-is meager list of achievements. And now this.. it had to be a sabotage. Somebody is stealing my papers and trying to kill me slowly. I immediately feel like picking the phone and bawling off to the husband. However, I decide to sort through my papers again. This time by taking everything out of the files and thumbing through each leaf. After what looks like an eternity, I do find my relieving letters etc, but this short experience leaves me shaken and pensive. I think I am going to take multiple photocopies of all my stuff, and keep the originals in a nuclear-attack-resistant vault. Anybody who wishes to go through the originals will be taken to the vault, where he can stare at my papers for the longest time to his heart's content. But the certificates are not coming out of the vault, like ever.

Joka Diary - 9

In case you didn't notice, I am back from the Europe trip.. alive and kicking! And into my 6th term now. There is so much to talk about the trip, but I sadly lack both the time and patience to write it now. But I promise, we will talk about it at length, sometime.. it might be next month, next year or next life(for me/for you/for both).. but talk we will. And those who are in a hurry, are cordially invited to look at the pics posted on Picasa (link available on request!). I have wasted an enormous time uploading them- an entire afternoon, and my labor of love shall remain unrequited till some kind soul wastes a couple of hours going through them. You see, that is how we usually compensate for the time wasted-- by wasting more time.

Alright, where were we? In the sixth term? Right! We have a lot of visiting faculty teaching the courses in the second half of the program. And, the students are usually very enthusiastic about the courses taught by the foreign Profs. Not because they are better than our IIM Profs, but because they are perceived as 'chilled out' and easy-to-please. Their expectations from students are usually lower than that of the resident faculty. The visiting faculty almost always finds us exceeding their expectations, and shower us with praise. Also, their evaluation system is pretty lenient, which means that they do not derive the-typical-to-IIMC pleasure by giving us bad grades. And so, we lap up their courses. We means the lazy, hungry-for-appreciation mortals like yours truly. I have taken up almost all the courses offered by VFF. Business valuation is one such course, the prof comes from NY. He has a very heavy American accent, and frequently talks about us falling 'bahind' if we don't put sufficient effort. Now this reminds me of a childhood incident, which I can't resist sharing. I have a motley set of cousins - funny, innocent, bumbling and very lovable. One of them, cousin Y had this habit of saying 'bahind' for 'behind'. His Dad tried to correct him --'It is behind, not bahind'. Now, cousin Y was already 6 yo by then, and at his advanced age, obviously knew better than to put too much trust in his merely IIT graduate father. He replied with loads of spunk-- 'I don't 'balieve' you!'. The preaching father was appropriately quietened, more like stunned into silence, while the rest of the family struggled to stifle laughter till we were out of his earshot. I wonder how long will it be before Pari stops believing me!

Joka Diary - 8

This might be a short post, depending on when the cab turns up. I am going to Europe on a short study tour. So going forward, the title would temporarily read as 'Europe Diary', that is if I write at all! Study tour is a complete misnomer, the schedule provided by the college doesn't show any studies, and neither do we intend to do any. So it is basically going to be a vacation in the midst of our MBA course.

To say that I am excited is an understatement. I am that, and more. To be honest, I am petrified, so darn scared that I have tidied up my flat just in case I don't return and they need to break in. I have said my goodbyes to family and friends, and to Pari and Chia. No, I don't think I dying, not so soon in any case, but I fear getting lost and stranded. We are a group of 20 people traveling to Dubai from Kolkata, and to London from there on. It is me and 19 men. I hope that at least one of them remembers that I exist. Once in the flight, I will start worrying about dying from hypothermia and catching pneumonia. A girl has every right to fear for her life and well-being.

On the brighter side, the husband was here for the last 5 days. We spent a lot of quality time together - shopping, eating and more shopping. So well, it wasn't just time that we spent, a lot of money went down the drain as well. To give some credit to self, for once, I have tried to act unlike myself, which means sensible. I have made all the effort to not get carried away, trying to restrict my shopping to essentials, keeping the baggage allowance in mind all the time. Pat on the back!

Alright, the cab is here. You take care and stay good. I will try to do the same. So long!

Joka Diary - 7

IIM C is notorious for its inclination towards Finance. Also, the faculty is known to take a quantitative approach to all subjects possible. For instance, when I mention the subject as Human Resource Management, can you in your wildest dreams imagine that it is a totally mathematical subject? Well, to be fair, it has some game theory and probability also thrown in, fat consolation indeed! And to make things more interesting, the Finance profs are really cute. Look up the dictionary meaning of 'cute' to make sense of it. For instance, consider BBC - the prof who teaches us Derivatives. He follows a set routine for his sessions. He begins by asking the students to look at the course outline, and tell him what topic is scheduled for the day. The entire class waits with baited breath in great suspense while some sincere student, who cares enough to carry the syllabus to the class everyday, reveals the topic. Once the topic is disclosed, BBC spends the next 5 minutes lamenting on how simple the topic is. The look of disappointment on his face is so stark, we just cannot restrain ourselves from sympathizing with him. It is grave injustice on the part of the Institute to insult his genius by giving him such simplistic things to teach. And I am not sarcastic when I say genius. BBC had topped his batch when he was a student in the Institute and has his name firmly engraved on the revered board. Anyways, once he is able to get over his grief, he starts teaching, which involves running lecture slides @57/min, and telling us that there is really nothing in there which we cannot read from the book. Finally he likes some particular slide, and pauses there, spending around 23 seconds on explaining it. Also, he relates a couple of incidents, closely related to the subject to further deepen our understanding of derivatives. All his anecdotes invariably revolve around some or the other unfortunate student who flunked in his subject, and there are plenty of such student samples available given that he has been teaching for close to 20 years now. Most of the anecdotes end on a happy note. The student never passes that particular finance course, but goes on to become some highly successful executive once he finally manages to get out of the college. What he probably wants to impress upon the class is that you can never be too smart to fail an exam. And so each horror story end with some wise words - 'Study well and start now, else later, nothing can be done.' However, the class has taken his anecdotes very sportingly, and few plan to study. Contrary to the prof's expectation, his threats have a funny effect on us. We have actually come to believe that we would all land excellent placements and do exceedingly well in life if we can manage to flunk in at least one of the finance courses. Not that it is any difficult for us!

The best-laid plans..

..go awry. I am a big show-off. Yes, that is exactly what I am. Did I tell you I am supposed to head home today? Of course I would have told ya, because I have told half the world about it. I have been dreaming about the Dussera trip to home, even before returning from the previous trip, that was barely 10 days back. And I have been dreaming of the Bara Bangalia Durga Puja which I haven't seen since 2002. And obviously looking forward to spending time with Pari and the Husband. Being a loud mouth is acceptable, when you have a big brain to keep up with it. For bird-brains like me, it spells disaster and embarrassment.

I am not going home today, or any time soon. My train tickets were wait-listed, and they still are. The husband had got them for me almost 3 months back, and both of us had forgotten that they were in the waiting-list. Wait, hold on the urge to laugh. There is more entertainment coming. Like the mess had mutton-biryani in lunch today, and I ate very less despite it being my most-favorite dish. Yeah.. because I believe in 'traveling light'. And Oh, did I mention how cleverly I left my stuff at home on the last visit, 'abhi to 10 din me phir se aana hi hai'. Bah! Hold on, the best is yet to come. There are plenty of people forced to stay on the campus because they couldn't get their reservations. I generously offered to share my berth with them in case they could work it out with the TC. Not just that, yesterday I spent the entire evening downloading movies to watch on my way. You see, I like to really plan things in advance and prepare well for the travel. Now if only I had had the good sense to check the status of my tickets!

I am still trying to get tickets in Tatkal, for Monday if not earlier. The railway-booking website isn't working though. Luckily for Pari, the husband is reaching Alld. tonight. The poor child is waiting for us. And you know what, he got his tickets altered at the last moment, so that he could reach Alld. before me and receive me at the station. It was important, since Papa is not in town, and my train reaches past midnight. Have no doubts folks, we are good at planning!

Joka Diary - 6

So much has been happening -- both inside and outside Joka. And I have been too busy (read lazy) to chronicle either. A post on Pari is also long due. Next one, for sure! Alright, lets begin with the updates. I am into my fourth term now, over 5 months already spent in Joka. This weekend, my M-I-L visited the campus. Did I mention that the Prime minister visited us last month. No? Never mind.. that wasn't really important. Lets focus on the M-I-L's visit. I got really excited at the prospect of having her here. So much that I went around the campus telling people of her visit, only to be harassed in return. My classmates threatened to complain to her of all the things that I never said, and all the misdemeanors, which I did not commit. That did little to dampen my excitement, which took me to a new level of cleanliness. As it is, this flat of mine is quite small and easy to maintain, and I am usually too busy to even mess it up. Still, M-I-L's visited warranted a more thorough scanning of the flat, all the nooks and corner for hidden cobwebs/fungus and their elimination. Did I tell you how quickly we get mold here? The climate here is so hot and humid that if I leave a black shirt out of the cupboard, for say overnight, the next morning it develops white patches of mold. Talking about Joka, this is going to be my pet peeve.

Mother has her sister and parents living here, who duly collected her from the airport. And then, I brought her to the campus in the evening. It is usually difficult to get a taxi to Joka, but that day was extra special. We struggled to even get an auto-rickshaw. To cut a long story short, we got into 4 vehicles - 3 autos and a bus to reach the campus. And I paid 100 bucks to the last auto, to drive us less than 2 kms. A very eventful journey indeed! Next morning, it was bright and shiny when I took her to the mess for the breakfast. Less than 15 minutes later, it was raining so heavily that we both got soaked to the bone on the way back, despite the umbrella. Later, when the rain finally stopped, I took her around the campus. And honestly, I had no idea that the campus is so huge. I haven't seen even half of it I guess. All said and done, we had a great time and M-I-L turned out be my first guest in Joka.

With the Durga Puja approaching fast, the college is buzzing with frantic activity. There is a Puja committee, which is responsible for putting up the puja pandal, and they have done a damn good job of it. A grand wooden structure has been erected and the entire campus is lit up. And now, the deities have arrived too. We saw the campus workers taking them off the trailers on our way back from dinner. It is going to be fun here, though I am leaving for home tomorrow and will be back only in time for the immersion. Here's wishing a very happy Dussera to all!

Does every post need one - 'Title'?

I wake up, tired and listless after an almost 3 hour long struggle against sleeping wakefulness or wakeful sleeping, whichever way you choose to look at it. I have been delirious, oscillating seamlessly between my house in Allahabad, and my flat in Joka. I spend sometime in my dream, talking to my mom, she asking me to get ready for a family event, my sister already dressed up in a saree. I wonder aloud, why are these kids so crazy about donning a saree? These are the same girls who would grow up to be women scorning at sarees, complaining how difficult it is to move around in one, when they are married and wearing saree is more of a social obligation than a choice. Sis gets miffed and walks out of the room. And I continue to tell my mom how I was just dreaming of her and the family event, and she smiles and confirms that it wasn't a dream. I really need to get ready for the event, and quickly since I have overslept already. Just as I feel reassured, for some weird reason, I force open my eyes, and find myself on my bed in Joka. Alright, so I have been hallucinating, and should jump out of the bed immediately to avoid further confusion. That doesn't happen. I go back to sleep and get transported to the family event in Allahabad again. This vicious circle, sleep->hallucinate->realize that it is a dream->try to wake up->go back to sleep->continues for the next 2 hours or so till I really get worked up and finally get out of the bed.

What is the first thing that you do after you wake up? I look in the mirror. As far as I can remember, I have always had a dressing table placed bang opposite to my bed, both in Allahabad, and in Bangalore. Here in Joka, the mirror is in the next room, but I am so used to looking at myself as the first thing after I wake up, that I actually sleep walk to the mirror. Today, I can see my skin glowing, not to the best of its ability, but definitely better than what it was in the morning. Which if you ask me, is not a good sign. My skin glows when I have a temperature. And the more sick I get, the more it glows. Believe me, kidding am I not! In fact, I have had some not-so-compassionate friends visit me during viral bouts, and comment that I didn't meet up their visual expectations of a sick person. The fever seriously makes me glow. Now why didn't I get fever on the day of my wedding, the world would have saved on a half-a-ton of makeup.

Whatever, I pop a crocin based on my interpretation of the symptoms. In any case I do not have a thermometer here. The husband wanted to buy me one when I was shopping for my stay here. I put forth an argument he couldn't refute -- 'I am going there to study, not to fall sick.' Now who can hold water against such razor sharp logic. And when a girl has such observation, intuition and a telltale skin, why waste on a thermometer?

If you can't make any sense out of this post, please do not blame your intellect, and don't as much as doubt my. I am, in all likeliness, still delirious..

And just when you are about to give up on life..

...it rains. It drizzles and it pours.. and then drizzles some more! As the heavens open up, the world suddenly turns into this beautiful place and life is once again, a bliss. That I am totally smitten with the rains is no secret, and the love just grows. I lusted after the rains in Allahabad, mushed over them in Bangalore as well, but I am totally floored by the rain in Joka. Less than a day into the monsoons, the campus has already turned a shiny green, what with all the moisture glistening over the leaves. The freshly-bathed frogs are holding concerts at their chosen venues, many of which happen to be by the lake-side, and the ripples in the lake(or is it the fishes beneath?) dance in unison. Isn't it serendipitous that our classes got over by 1.30 today, unlike usual days when we stretch till 5.30? Alright, here is my favorite rain song. Which is yours?

Joka Diary - 5

Time flies.. even when you are living away from family, pining for your home, buried under piles of books and subjected to a constant threat of exams and evaluations! To be fair, you also have the great company of fellow sufferers to alleviate your distress, partly at least. There are 43 other souls in the throes of the examination, burning the midnight oil, facebooking away to glory while the elusive nirvana lies somewhere in the powerpoint presentations that the faculty so graciously provides. It happens to me all the time, I open the laptop to look at the presentations, but unknowingly and invariably end up on facebook. Seriously, I hate facebook, so much that I am contemplating joining the 'I hate Facebook' group on facebook. Anyhow, the first term is over, and we are now in the second week of the second term. The classes are already running on full steam. However, people are occupied with other important things, viz. internship, study tour, placements, lattice and such. As for me, I am my usual lethargic self, trying to have a good time while sitting firmly on my lazy butt. Before coming to Joka, I had great plans of working on my personal development, and using this one year to come up with a better and improved me. I don't see any of it happening though. I remain as wasteful, non-committed and useless as ever. Alright, to give myself some credit, I have finally started cycling. For the other activities, we still have 6 terms left. Lets see.. tomorrow is a new day.

Joka Diary - 4

I graduated from college in 2003, almost 8 yrs back. Coming back to college after such a long break is not easy, and especially for a rigorous course like this. I am having trouble sitting in the classroom for long hours, attending lectures from morning to evening and focussing on the discussions. No matter how hard I try, my mind tends to wander after half an hour of lecture, and by the time it returns, the discussion has already gone too far and I am unable to follow. I am not new to this, it happened all the time in school, college, even office meetings but I was able to join back whenever I chose to concentrate. However, the classes here are really fast-paced. Its like watching your first English movie, after years of watching Indian television serials. You have no previous experience to help you comprehend, you struggle with the thick foreign accent and by the time you get a hang of the thing, the movie gets over. I still can't watch English movies without subtitles, while for most Hindi movies, I think I wouldn't miss anything even if the volume is turned off.

Back to studies, apart from listening skills, it seems I need to re-develop my writing skills as well. I have simply not written anything except for my name on some bank papers in the last so many years. Writing in ruled notebooks is a major challenge, I am not able to stick to the bottom line and my letters just fly all over the page. Also, my handwriting is not what it used to be, and I keep making mistakes while taking notes. I think we can ask the instructor to be allowed to take notes on the laptop, but then it might not give me the feel of actually studying, which I so like. For now, I am giving it a decent try, but the examiner is going to have a tough time when he/she marks my answersheet. On a slightly different note, it has made me realise how difficult it is for Pari to write in a 4 line notebook when she has started writing just a couple of months back. I feel really guilty about all the times I have scolded her for not writing neatly.

Coming to Pari, I am really missing her now. There are a number of students, all of them obviously men who have come to the campus with their families. Strangely, most of them have daughters, and the children are always running around the hostel when we return from the classes. When I mentioned Pari to one of my classmates, he said what I am doing is commendable. I heard it as condemnable. Probably because thats what I think of leaving my daughter behind.

Joka Diary - 3

The title is getting boring, isn't it? And to think that I am about to spend the next entire year here-- 350 days, there is scope for around 50 more entries to the diary. Should I continue with the name, or should I be more creative? On second thoughts, I would rather spend time writing the journal than thinking about new titles. So the name sticks, at least for the time being.

It has been a pretty much uneventful weekend so far.. not that any excitement is expected during whatever is left of it, unless a frog jumps in my room. This has already happened once and I couldn't sleep the entire night, scared that the creature might just jump on my bed or worse still, on my head. My sister often caught frogs from our garden as a toddler, and brought them inside to show us -- 'Didi, dekho!'. I would dash out of the room very abruptly, leaving the child bewildered. I wonder if she is still that comfortable with frogs. Digression over, we visited the local market, aptly named 'Behaala' yesterday. The place was indeed 'behaal'.. buzzing with activity, and very crowded. We sighted a lot of ladies dressed in lovely, crisp cotton sarees, usually in white and off-white with pastel designs. It surprised me to see them dressed so immaculately for casual shopping. Whatever it is, I am so buying sarees before I leave Cal!

Today, the day was spent holed up in my flat except for the mandatory visits to the mess. I felt like catching up with the other girls but they were all in their respective flats, and I wasn't sure how welcome would I be. I think it is the same with the other girls, they probably wish to interact as well, but have their own apprehensions. Hopefully, we will be more comfortable knocking at each other's doors once we get to know the group better.

P.S. Just returned from dinner to find a frog jumping around the house. Wish I had mentioned Tom Cruise instead of the darn froggie, you never know...

Joka Diary - 2

Before I begin my routine ramble, a word of caution. I am not over the top about studying or living in Joka. Nothing can be farther from truth, I still have nagging doubts at the back of my mind on whether the juice is worth the squeeze. I write about it because I have nothing else to write about, unless I start writing about accounting principles or organisational behaviour. And in the first place, I write because writing makes me feel connected to the life I have been used to. This blog looks familiar unlike the scary books, and posting here is something I can do without banging my head against any of the reference books, most unlike my assignments.

Now that we are clear on that, let me tell you about my newly developed self-awareness. Not in the human behaviour fashion though. I never knew I could be so thrilled about cleanliness. Having been a messy person all my life, I had all plans in place for continuing to be the same. However, I have outdone myself. My place is as spic and span as could be. I skip prescribed pre-reading to tidy up my place before I leave for the classes. And when I return from college, I again reorganise my stuff before thinking of anything else. I think it is primarily because I am scared to open the books or attempt assignments and hence seek solace in cleaning which also gives me a reason to defer studies. But I also feel that it is so much more manageable here. 15 minutes a day is sufficient to keep my stuff in order. In Bangalore, it took me more time than that to just pick Pari's toys which were always, always strewn around the house. Also, there were an array of other pressing issues, like preparing dinner or feeding the child. Here I have just myself to attend, and even my food is provided for. That I have to walk for almost 15 min for every meal is a different matter. All in all, I am really enjoying this organised, house-proud phase of my life.

On a slightly different note, the feminist in me was mighty pleased yesterday. The entire day saw a set of very competent women profs taking classes, for a batch of 44 out of which 5 are women(not bad, eh?), and 2 women co-ordinating the course.

Joka Diary - 1

Today was the first day of regular studies, and I am already buried under a truckload of pending tasks. I guess that makes it just a regular day in Joka, nothing really worth writing home about. What made it special for me was the splitting headache I had post-lunch. Given the frequency of my head-aches and the important part they play in my life, the first one here is definitely worth a mention. I am rather used to them, and have my Dispirins and Saridons all in the right place. What really hurt today was not having a 4 yr old to fuss over me with her doctor set, asking to be snubbed. And an extremely caring, loving and somewhat old man trying his best to make me comfortable, simultaneously attempting to root cause my headache and getting on my frayed nerves in the process. I can be cruel, especially during migraine attacks. And I guess this loneliness serves me right.. I have totally earned it. Now that the head has taken a drinks break from throbbing, let me try getting some sleep before it makes a hasty retreat. Good night!