We feel really safe now..

..with our 2 resident spiderkids.

High level security doesn't come cheap though. My mother has to play with them a minimum of 3-4 hours a day in exchange for the family's safety. In the evenings, Papa needs to carry one or both of them down to the park. Not a bad deal in this dangerous world, I say!

Of high aspirations

When one is young, there are few things that appear more desirable than growing older. Once you are old enough, there are few things more depressing than growing even older. I think the person can be considered as truly mature on the day this flip happens. We had put up a couple of numeric balloons with numbers 1 & 6 on Pari's birthday to mark it as her 16th. Not because we consider 16 as anything special, but because the balloons were part of the decorations that the neighbourhood general store owner had recommended and sold to us. Also, because on inflation, they looked nice and went well with our theme. After the party was over, I plucked the number balloons off the wall, bought them home and pasted the 16 in Pari's room. I thought it looked great on her wall. The following evening, I went to Pari's room to run an errand. The numeric balloons looked strange and unsettling. And then I realised that Pari has rotated the 6 to make a 9 and pasted it before the 1. Many of us would offer an arm and a leg to be 16 again, I have a child who can't wait to turn 91. I would appreciate her enthusiasm about life, but for the fact that I would either be long dead and gone or 115 years old. I prefer the former.

Of travelling fathers and lonely daughters..

Husband is just back from a 3 day business trip. The man rarely travels for business and it is a big deal for the family when he does. The newly-minted 16 yo who generally avoids parents like plague is surprisingly and severely impacted. 'The house looks so vacant without Papa', she rues on Monday, the day following her Dad's departure. She spends most of Tuesday looking forlorn - 'I miss Papa so much.. when will he be back?' she asks. The child starts brightening up as Wednesday progresses and joyfully proclaims in the afternoon - 'Papa will be here tonight.. I am so excited!'. Most of the evening is spent checking the flight status and once he lands, tracking his transit from the airport to home. At times, I feel like I don't know this girl at all!

Of birthday cakes..

I had mentioned Pari's birthday cake in a recent post. Most people who saw the cake were impressed with my idea of a piano cake as well the craft of the designer. My sister, however, wasn't. She felt that by ordering the cake, I am not putting any effort and insisted that I bake one for Pari. It is understandable. Sis bakes lovely cakes and dresses them so well that they can easily pass as store bought designer cakes. I have none of her talent, and zilch willingness to make extra work for myself. We ended up ordering a cake from a professional bakery but this incident reminded of some of the innovative cakes my parents had baked for my birthday. My mother is the kitchen goddess and baking queen. I think except for the first, second and a few later ones, she always baked cakes for my birthdays and continues to do so to this day. One cake that I specifically remember was the guitar cake for my 9th birthday. I was taking guitar classes at the time and my dad thought it was a cool idea to make a cake that reflected my current hobby. I have no clue how they did it. I may have been at school or my usual absent-minded self. I would imagine that Mom would have baked multiple cakes which Papa would have cut into shapes and decorated with chocolate and frosting. I just know that it was there on the table in the living room when I came to cut the cake, and I got super excited to see it. Fortunately, I still have a picture to show Pari.

Of being a bookworm..

 ..is a good reputation to have. Despite our endeavour to keep the event small and casual, Pari still received many presents for her birthday. Amongst them stood out 6 books presented by as many friends, who have known her for less than 6 months. 

Frankly, this was not a surprise to us. I still remember her 8th birthday, when we had hosted a big party for her including her friends, our friends, colleagues and relatives. Almost all the guests had got her books as presents. I had stacked the books in a neat pile next to the child, and it was almost as high as her! She had received so many sets of books - the Wind in the willows series, the Famous five series, multiple books from the the Wimpy kid and the Geronimo Stilton series amongst others. Pari was a fast reader even in those days and got through the books rather swiftly, post which I passed them on to other kids in our circle of friends and family.    

This year, the books are obviously, all grown-up like herself. I must admit that I am rather impressed with her friends' choices.. can't wait to get my hands on these!

       

16th birthday with 17 friends..

 ..and what a delight it was! We finally celebrated Pari's birthday today. She has attended her new school for less than 6 months, and I am so proud to see her already being great friends with half the kids in her class - which is to say 100% of the girls and 0% of the boys :) For her birthday, Pari invited 26 friends from the current school out of which 17 turned up. My love for little girls is no secret. I realise that this didn't come out sounding the way it was intended to be, so will clarify - I love my daughter, my little nieces and their young friends. I enjoyed hosting Pari's lovely friends - such polite, warm and promising young people who brightened up our party with their enthusiasm. 

At my end, I tried to surprise Pari with a piano cake. However, I realise that I am very poor at keeping secrets. Pari mentioned that she overheard me discussing the last-minute modifications with the cake designer this morning, and gathered that it was a cake related to music. So much for my undercover execution since last 15 days.. duh! Thankfully, the cake didn't disappoint.

Of personal cheerleaders..

 Earlier this week, I participated in a board game event organized by a bunch of gaming enthusiasts. It was a casual, fun event and I am glad that I could make it despite a dull headache. A couple of hours later, Pari messaged on Whatsapp to check on me. I think I got incredibly lucky with this kid!

Of online shopping, unrealistic expectations and aerial views..

Last week, I had ordered a dress online as a new year present for myself. It got delivered today. Now, the dress looked very nice in the pictures posted on the website. But then, the pictures featured a tall, leggy model with porcelain skin inside the dress, apparently 10 years younger to me if not more. People often blame designers for not using real people to display and promote their clothes. I can't even do that as I have observed myself subconsciously scrolling over clothes that feature plain Jane models. Truth be said - modelling is a profession, which like any other, requires certain qualifications. Models do make the clothes look desirable and designers need to sell. And I am no activist really, just a regular person who browses fashion websites and buys pretty-looking stuff online to feel good. I am not here to make a statement or take a stand with my purchase. 

We digress but to be fair, even the dress didn't look like its picture. The actual dress looked like a poorer cousin of the dress in the picture, similar to how I looked when compared to the model in the picture.  Now, I am a very reluctant person when it comes to returning clothes or other things once purchased - online or offline. I feel that my time invested in the selection and purchase would go waste if I were to return the item. Therefore,  I continue to seek validation of the item to avoid a return. My darling mother is my go to person for self-affirmation. It is not that she actually likes all of my shopping, rather she instinctively  knows it when I come to her for an approval that wasn't found anywhere or with anyone. And she loves me way too much to turn me down. I asked the husband to take a couple of pictures of me in the said dress to share with my mother. He took the pictures from his eye level which is about 6 inches over my head and I ended up looking like a dwarf, with stunted growth. I insisted that he bends down to my level and take another picture. This time the picture came out well with my body appearing proportionate. While comparing the pictures, I had an strange thought - most people are significantly taller to me, is this is how I appear to them? Funny that I never thought of this before! In any case, I have sent the good picture to my mother and am now waiting upon her approval of my dress.. fingers crossed!

Pari'ism 6-12-2016

This happened last Dec, and the post is pulled from the drafts.

I purchase a piano and it gets delivered to our home. Pari is overly excited about it and jumping off the walls. She tends to get excited over anything and everything that is new and that doesn't concern her. Thankfully, the excitement lasts only until the novelty wears off, which depending on the object varies from a couple of minutes to a couple of days. Coming back to the piano, we somehow manage to squeeze the instrument in our guest bedroom, sandwich it between the dressing table and the bed, post which the technicians' proceed to respectfully unwrap it. Pari obviously doesn't leave its side for one moment. My almost 10 yo observes the unwrapping with the anticipation and curiousity of a 3 yo who may well be about to witness the biggest marvel of life. The covers are taken off, and the sight of an actual piano at such close quarters makes the child delirious. She takes one good look at it and joyfully proclaims - "Mumma, look -- our piano has a brake and an accelerator. Just like the car, it has a clutch too!"  Pari has seen grand pianos before, but apparently, this is the first time that she notices the pedals.

Later in the day, she places her casio keyboard on the stool and shoves it under the piano. I am summoned again - "Mumma, good news: our piano has a baby now". We are raising a stand-up comedian, me thinks!

Ye moh moh ke dhaage..

I watched the movie 'Dum Laga kar Haisha' on a flight last week, and this song has been playing non-stop in my head & on my phone since. Apart from the fact that it is indeed a soulful song and that I really loved the  movie - so much that I downloaded it and watched a re-run in less than 24 hours after the first viewing, the reason that I feel so connected is because it is also reflective of our circumstances. We are all so tied up with 'moh ke dhaage' or 'the strings of attachment'. Most of these are by virtue of birth.. with the parents, grand-parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, even with the children. The other set arises out of love/marriage. We complete 10 years of marriage today, and I continue to be so tied up with the 'strings of attachment'. I am as spell bound, as enchanted, as smitten, and as head-over-heels as I was a decade back. This guy still has me wrapped around his little finger!

Once in a while..

..everyone is entitled to a temporary bout of insanity. I exhausted my quota last night!

Pictures : the porcelain baby

While going through our old pictures, I came across these..




I can't remember having seen them like ever, they were just buried somewhere in our hard disk. And to find them made me very pleased and very sad at the same time. Pari is exactly a month over 1 year in these. What would I not give to get back my porcelain baby.. Time, thou art a fickle mistress!

Because, at times..

..I miss Him too!



Need we say more? :P

The picture is part of my 'Countdown to The Wedding' collection. We took one picture a day, every day of the month preceding our wedding. Wipe off that smirk, the rest of them are pretty mundane -- of us sitting casually, watching TV, looking for an apartment in the Times classified, having dinner or just laughing together. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic like that. The pictures were taken by my lovely flatmates-- T & A. Both of them were overly thrilled about our wedding, perhaps even more than us. They took the job of taking the daily pic really seriously. So much that even if we forgot, they wouldn't let Him leave for his place till the pic for the day was taken. And the girls suggested us different poses to bring variety in the pictures-- this smooch being one of them :D Thanks gals, you made it really special for us!

Because I am missing her so much..

This is a video we captured a few days before leaving Bangalore. Ignore my unkempt house.. and just watch the miracle that she is!



While we are on Pari, some more pictures. Yesterday was 'Fruit day' in her school and she was the cherry. Below is the cherry that Mausi painted for her. Isn't she terribly lucky to have such a talented Mausi?

5 years today..

धन से न दुनिया से

घर से न द्वार से

साँसों की डोर बंधी है

प्रीतम के प्यार से

दुनिया छूटे पर न टूटे

ये कैसा बंधन है..


It is five years today since we entered the aforementioned 'Bandhan'! The occasion demands a mushy post, but I'll rather spare the torture. I would just stick to doing what I do the best- 'plagiarize' and put it elegantly-- 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of credulity...'. Now that I have 2 writers turning in their graves already, let me conclude the post with some original stuff.

I have no clue as to why I like this particular picture so much, we both are looking quite awkward in it. Still, the fondness is probably because we are genuinely smiling in this one, unlike the zillion other pics where we had to fake as many smiles for the pushy photographers.

Striking a balance in life..

..is all about doing things in style..

..and having fun while doing them..



..without compromising on education ofcourse!



Learning can be fun too..



..especially with extra-curriculars..



..that also include food!!

A landmark day..

..for my poor feet. I got my first-ever pedicure done today, at the ripe old age of.. err.. never mind. To set facts straight, I am a tolerable face, ugly feet and ugly hands person. Thankfully, it is the visage that grabs the most attention, and so I have been sort of doing fine with these unsightly limbs of mine. Half a decade ago, a friend did mention that I have 'pretty small fingers', thanks for the compliment T. I know you read this blog, and I want you to know it meant a lot to me then and now. Coming from you, it was as pleasant as unexpected! Honestly though, my feet and hands look at least 10 years older than I actually am, but I still like them. They allow me to walk around and type this blog. As long as the purpose is served, I do not complain. So here I present, not so proudly, the pictures post pedicure. The husband says they look the same as before, but having spent 400 bucks and an hour in the parlour leafing through the insufferable fashion magazines, I think they look worth the effort. After all, it was just a pedicure, my feet require no less than a plastic surgery to look any better. Look at all those veins, tan and sandal marks, sigh!



To make matters worse, Pari has put her feet with mine. Look how my feet have been pushed to the edge of the chair. But who minds making way for such pretty, dainty feet!



Be prepared for more of such narcissistic posts. The husband had got me 11 YLG vouchers for my birthday last month, and only 3 have been used up. They expire this month end, and so manicure, hair spa, under eye treatment and such are in the pipeline.. all of which would be firsts :D

Of hair-cuts and heart-breaks..

The disadvantages of having a single child shared by two adults are many (though still less than the number required to convince me to have another :P). What makes them even more pronounced is that the two adults in this case, me and the husband think very differently and agree on absolutely nothing. Since Pari is still too young to have a free will, at least in matters which do not involve colours,cartoon characters and food, we attempt to impose our choices on her. The husband wants to take her for rock climbing while I wish to enroll her in swimming classes. The husband wants to buy her a football team tshirt with some 'Messi' on the back, with a name like that I am sure he would have messed it up big time, while I like buying nice strappy frocks for her. You would agree, it is not exactly a pleasure to have your most-beautiful-to-your-own-eyes daughter mistaken for a boy so often, all because she made a wrong choice at the foetal stage and took her father's nose,forehead,eyes and lips. And when it comes to a hair cut, there is no consensus at all. I want to get her hair cut and the husband wants to keep it long.

The fault is not entirely his, we have just 2 acquaintances who have girls Pari's age and both have chosen to keep the children's hair long. And while the little girls do look gorgeous, I personally find it difficult to handle long hair rooted on such small heads. Besides, I really don't think it is all that important to look good, at this small age or any age for that matter. For me, it is always convenience that gains precedence over appearance, which kind of explains my own inability to look good. So this time, when Pari's hair grew long enough for her to pass off as Mowgli(who she loves to bits), I insisted on getting a decent hair cut while the husband wanted to tie it up. We had long and tedious, sometimes violent discussions over it, but all in vain. And then I took the Gandhian route of non-cooperation. I refused to wash/oil/comb/touch the child's hair till it was cut to a manageable length. It worked like a charm. The battle was won, but the war continued. This time on where to go for the hair cut. Some of my loyal readers, if not all 4 of them, might remember this post where I lamented how Pari hates salons, and how I, being the dutiful mom that I am, manage to cut her hair myself. I was confident enough to argue that no matter where in the world the husband takes her, my baby would not let a stranger touch her head and come back running to Mumma's exclusive salon. I couldn't have been more wrong! My little birdie is already taking strides to girlhood . I am yet to make up my mind whether to celebrate or to rue. Enough said.. I'll let the pictures do the talking now.

Dussera Celebrations..

Pari had Dussera celebrations in her school last week. It is actually a playgroup, don't know why I keep calling it a school. Anyways, a note came from the Principal inviting all moms for participation. I was not so keen on going. I had some work planned for the day, and couldn't take it off. Moreover, I somehow always feel out of place in Pari's playgroup, nervous and naive. The other moms look so confident, and so grown up. Of late, I have been cursing my small built a lot. And the school gathering always triggers it. Actually I am not so small, Google tells me that the average height for Indian women is 5'1'', which means I am just 1'' short of the average. But then, I did not google the average weight, which might provide more clues. I have lost a lot of weight during the last year, and struggling to get to the 40 kgs that I was for most part of the last 6 years. No significant health issues other than the allergy, no drop in appetite and no increase in work load -- no reason that I can think of.. and still I am losing weight like there is no tomorrow. The last 3 months figures stand at 34.2, 36.7, 35.. and I feel just miserable. This is turning out to be a weight loss update more than an account of Dussera celebration. Excuse me for the digression, but this has been bothering me for some time now. Coming back to Dussera, the husband was more than eager to participate, but he wasn't invited. So finally, I decided to apply for a leave for the first half and work from home for the later half. Pari was required to dress up in ethnic wear, and we had a new lucknowi kurta/pajama just waiting for the occasion. The pajama was rather long for her, but you can always fold it and make do. As it turned out, the neck of the kurta was too small for Pari's head to pass through and the maid got it stuck there. It never occured to me that a dress which is clearly oversized for Pari can have such a small neck. I admit Pari has a rather big head, but still.. Anyways, we settled down for a lehenga. I wore a suit, counting on it to make me look older.. and off we went.
We walked down to the school, it is hardly 400 meters from our house. And it took us almost 20 minutes to reach there. It is always the husband who takes Pari for walks. I prefer taking the car even for small distances, like her school. So, I had almost forgotten how slow she walks, especially when there is so much distraction. Every parked car was noticed and its colour was reported diligently, umpteen attempts were made to pick all fallen flowers and all stray dogs were attended to, with extremely useful comments that provided deep insight like 'This doggy is hungry, ye dudu peeyega', and so on and so forth. It was almost like that sequence in Amelie where the heroine helps a blind man cross a street, all the while providing him with a rich description of the surroundings, that which was also reproduced in Ghajini. Honestly, I might as well qualify as a blind.. all these petty things gain significance if you look at them through a child's eyes.
The function started with some prayers, and then there was a dance performance by the children. They were all made to stand in a big circle, and given dandiya sticks to dance. Now, the kids did it fairly well, striking the sticks and dancing in the circle, all except Pari. She is actually the smallest in the group, looks the tiniest, and could only hold them sticks and jump all along. Despite a not so bright performance, she looked completely at ease and very excited. And suddenly, I felt my eyes well up... I really don't know why, I mean I am really not one of those sentimental moms but still. Before I realised, tears were streaming down my face, and the other moms were gaping at me. I guess babies do strange things to your psyche. On my way to the school, I had spent most of the time thinking of an excuse that would let me return home as quickly as possible and resume my work, but once there, I just didn't have the heart to leave early lest Pari missed out on one moment of the fun. So we ended up staying for the whole duration. Now, that was a pretty long account.. and to reward you for your patience, I'll leave you with a picture.

How do you spend your Sunday??

Preparing the list for Sunday grocery shopping..

Applying lipstick to buy groceries..

.. and reviewing the effect so very carefully!

Reading Sunday Times huddled with Papa..


and joining him later for some serious Xbox gaming.


Taking pride in cleaning the house..


...and celebrating a job well done!


Reading magazines..


and finally.. levitating!??