Growing old together..

..in a marriage is undeniably overrated. I think it is far more important to grow happy together. It needs to be acknowledged that the lack of happiness is unhappiness. When we stop being happy together, growing old together just translates into two miserable people waiting for their respective lives to end.

An agreement without definite timelines is as good as void. Till death do us apart is not a timeline. May be, in the earlier times, when human lifetimes were less than 50 years, and days were only as long as the daylight. Not any more. 

A commitment made at 22 should not be binding at 42. Humans grow and evolve continuously. It is an insult to human intellect to presume that 2 people think and feel the same way over a lifetime of 75 years. 

It is said that all the cells in the human body are renewed over a period of 7 years. This means that effectively, we do not share a single cell with our own self from 7 years ago. It think 7 years is a good time to review and renew the contract of marriage. Or annul!

Because, at times..

..I miss Him too!



Need we say more? :P

The picture is part of my 'Countdown to The Wedding' collection. We took one picture a day, every day of the month preceding our wedding. Wipe off that smirk, the rest of them are pretty mundane -- of us sitting casually, watching TV, looking for an apartment in the Times classified, having dinner or just laughing together. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic like that. The pictures were taken by my lovely flatmates-- T & A. Both of them were overly thrilled about our wedding, perhaps even more than us. They took the job of taking the daily pic really seriously. So much that even if we forgot, they wouldn't let Him leave for his place till the pic for the day was taken. And the girls suggested us different poses to bring variety in the pictures-- this smooch being one of them :D Thanks gals, you made it really special for us!

It is official now..

..the husband-man is cheating on me. Trust me, it was in the newspapers today. The highly-dependable Times of India has duly reported that a mole on the right cheek indicates a cheating husband. Ironically, it is not even the poor man's fault. I mean I have always had that mole on my right cheek, so no matter who I marry, the person is bound to cheat on me. Even if my old man were born an epitome of virtue and loyalty, he automatically transformed into a womaniser the day of the wedding, such is the power of the mole. What really amazes me is that the morphing happened in such a subtle fashion that even a smart girl like yours truly took 5 long years to realise it. Anyways, now that I know it for a fact that the man's crooked, I am leaving no stone unturned to uncover his misdemeanors. And considering that the effort started only around 10 am this morning, after I read the newspaper and finished my breakfast, I am rather proud of my progress so far, proud enough to share it with you here-

1. The man has always been very supportive of my travelling for work/study/fun. Immediately after the alliance, he insisted that I go for an onsite assignment. When I turned it down, he made arrangements for his own travel and flew to the US for almost 3 months, no less! Currently, he is pushing me for an MBA, though I am not willing to take the risk in view of the recent discovery.

2. He can never remember important dates, not even the anniversary when we are together.. however, once away he sends me the most clichéd gifts on all our special occasions and otherwise without miss. And poor me, I always thought it is in tune with the adage 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. Now I know, the gifts are driven by guilt rather than affection.

3. He doesn't call me, like ever once he steps out of the house. It is anybody's guess as to what keeps him 'busy'.

4. And last but not the least, reverse psychology. Sample this incident from last night - our car is covered in layers of dust. On the window pane, some one wrote a love note replete with a heart struck by the cupid's arrow, all in the dust. Before I could even question him about it, the spouse comes and insists that someone wrote it for me. 'For me'-- of all the people?? It is easier to believe that it was written for the car itself. Innocent me falls for the ploy, gets distracted and defensive, while the old man has a good laugh.

Finally, if all of the above falls short in implicating the husband, I still have the mole for proof!

5 years today..

धन से न दुनिया से

घर से न द्वार से

साँसों की डोर बंधी है

प्रीतम के प्यार से

दुनिया छूटे पर न टूटे

ये कैसा बंधन है..


It is five years today since we entered the aforementioned 'Bandhan'! The occasion demands a mushy post, but I'll rather spare the torture. I would just stick to doing what I do the best- 'plagiarize' and put it elegantly-- 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of credulity...'. Now that I have 2 writers turning in their graves already, let me conclude the post with some original stuff.

I have no clue as to why I like this particular picture so much, we both are looking quite awkward in it. Still, the fondness is probably because we are genuinely smiling in this one, unlike the zillion other pics where we had to fake as many smiles for the pushy photographers.

Retirement plans..

Part of a chat with the husband today, about our trip to Allahabad. Posting it here to ensure he remembers it years later...

A: is baar mujhe bhi allahabad accha laga
quiet city and I liked that

me: :)

A: aur khafi ghooma bhi halaki katra and civil lines hi
par maza aaya

me: hmm...

A: mera sangam dekhne ka man tha
par time hi nahi mila

me: Allahabad has an old world charm to it
i was born there

A: accha

me: and would like to spend my last days also there
when i retire
and pari is married

A: accha

me: i shall go back to alld
and live quietly
peacefully

A: shehar logon se hota hain
kaun kaun bacha hain allahabad mein woh matter karega

me: dekho.. mere parents to wahin rahenge
papa to kahin nahi jayegne alld chhod kar

A: hmmm

me: pari ki shadi alld me kar denge
aur hum bhi wahin chale jayenge

A: agar tum choose karti ho ladka
allahabad mein kya karta hoga woh
???

me: Alld university me prof ho sakta hai
ya MNR me
ya medical college me doctor
ya high court me judge

A: hmmm
chalo main chai lekar aaya


Noticed how he fled for tea so suddenly :) And our sole concern in life is who Pari marries!! After all, there are just 15 short years left before she reaches the legal age.

Looking forward to..

..nothing!! The much anticipated trip to home is at its fag end, and the situation at home is exactly what we left it at. I am scared to return to Bangalore. To be honest, it was not so much about attending the sibling's wedding, and meeting the family as getting a break. I have been struggling endlessly since Feb 6th, which was when the last maid left. So when I left Bangalore on June 6th, all I was looking forward to was getting fed without having to cook, having the baby off my head for at least a couple of hours and return with a maid. All of it materialised except for the maid. This implies that by weekend, I shall be forced to rely on my own 2 feet and 2 hands to feed 3 mouths, along with the 9-6 office. And Bangalore traffic!

This is getting just too depressing. Let me think of the good things which I could look forward to. There aren't many but we shall still make an effort.

• The heat, yes I'll get to escape the terrible weather there. It will probably be still raining in Bangalore. Also, I am longing for the humble fan in my Bangalore bedroom that I can turn off as and when I feel. I don't get along too well with the air conditioner, and wake up shivering every morning. The sad part is that I cannot even turn it off. There are 4 other people sweating in the same room, and then, I don't even know how to switch off the darn thing.
  
• The husband will be back to his normal self, transforming into spouse and father from his current VIP persona, son-in-law and son, which effectively means that he can be pulled down from the revered pedestel and treated like ordinary mortals.
  
• The baby is also behaving a tad weird. I think all the extra attention from the doting grand parents, uncles and aunts has swiftly made way to her head and she is acting unreasonably pricey. I so look forward to my well-behaved, humble child.
  
• Being away from public eye! Yes, coming from an average, plain Jane, IT professional with no possible claim to fame, it sure sounds crazy but thats it. Living in Bangalore for the last
  7 years has accustomed me to living with a maximum of 3 folks in the house, be it roommates or family, and more importantly to doing exactly what I please, exactly when I wish. No, that doesn't make me a wastrel. I still manage the household and the family along with my work, all of which is pretty demanding (some superwomen definitely do it better, but I am happy being mediocre). It is just that I like to set my own priorities, like a dirty dish can wait if I need a nap post lunch. Also, I like to wear shorts when I give Pari her bath and not some 3K raw silk suit which is not done when you have 50 guests in the house. Remember, I live in Allahabad.. I missed you, my shabby shorts!

Alright. I feel better already.. Bangalore, here I come!

A bad hair day!

I had a haircut last Friday, and now, its like the shortest hair that I have ever had. So much that if I pull it together and try tying it, it behaves spunky, and the poor rubber band is expelled in a matter of minutes. Did I tell you how much I hate keeping my hair loose, I am now forced to do that. Thankfully, it is too short to even reach the nape of my neck so I am still sane.
And yesterday, less than 30 hours after the bad bad haircut which has the husband still steaming, I got a call from Dove. They said that I have won a free hair make-over at Lakme. The phrase 'hair makeover' had me in splits. Literally. The poor telecaller got really confused and hung up quickly. He probably thought that having never won any freebie in my current and past 7 lives, the news has shocked me crazy, and I am already jumping with joy. Well, the first part is actually true. I have never ever won anything free, never been a 'lucky winner' as they term it. And there lies my agony. Damn, I cannot even celebrate my first win, or bask in the new found glory. Its just so ironical. I have a cool voucher worth some 800 bucks, but no hair left to use it, sigh! If my hair is cut any further, the husband will certainly file a divorce. That is if he could resist shooting me at sight. On second thoughts, he doesn't have a gun, so it could be smothering, strangulating, poisoning, pushing off the terrace.. anything.. it matters little as long as it kills me.
To think of it, I have not had my hair cut short since almost 2 yrs. First, it was my b-i-l's wedding in Feb, 2008 for which I had to maintain a decent length. Then came my cousin's wedding the following December. Again, I just got it styled, but not at the cost of length. Yet again, last month, my brother decided to take the plunge. So finally, after important occasions had been attended, and all pics taken, proof enough that I did look pretty and feminine once upon a time, I got this haircut. What a perfect timing!
The voucher expires on October 31st. Please please suggest me some magic concoction - lizard's tail, frog's tongue, fly's artery, husband's nails.. any potion that can help me grow my hair to a respectable 'make-over'able length by then. You will have my eternal gratitude if that works, else you can walk away with the wretched voucher itself!

Getting crafty..

It is our wedding anniversary tomorrow.. and as always, I have been racking my brains for the past 10 days, for what might be the ideal present. I like to work towards a present, and do not go for off-the-shelf stuff unless unavoidable. Now, this makes the otherwise simple job really complicated, especially since I run low on imagination and creativity. For the record, this will be our 3rd anniversary, and we could not celebrate the first 2. So just to make up for the lost occasions, I wanted to buy the spouse a platinum ring engraved with our names, with a solitaire if the budget allowed. Such was the plan till last week, before my organization axed some 10% of the total work-force. What followed were extremely low spirits and a drastic drop in my budget, from INR 25,000 to a meagre 500 rupees. I was more than willing to slash it further, but for anything less than that, the present would have reduced to a flower plucked from the neighbour's bush.. and they don't even plant roses! To cut a long story short, I decided to get crafty, pun intended :) I had wanted to do some glass painting since when I forget, and used this opportunity to fulfill that longing. After much deliberation, I decided upon a personalized calender with 'glass paintings' on transparent plastic sheets. Its come out looking rather childish, especially because I have done the calendar part manually. It would have looked far better with a printed calendar, there are plenty of cool options available on the internet for that but I just wanted to give it a more personal touch. Come to think of it, I could have got this whole personalized calendar thing made up with no effort, very little time, and markedly cheaper by placing an order on any of those websites and uploading a few family pics but I prefer it this way. No more rambling, here's presenting some pics. I know they are not impressive, but just want to share :)