Early morning blues..

It is 8.30 am, tuesday, friday still so far off morning and here am I, sitting in the office with a persistant headache and no inclination whatsoever to work. My headache can be attributed to acute shortage of proper sleep, not surprising considering that my daughter has just turned 8 months old, and still has trouble sleeping at a stretch. She wakes me up thrice every night and thrice I put her back to sleep when finally at around 5 in the morning she gets really worked up. She begins by purring softly in my ears followed by some rough kicking in my tummy accompanied by pulling at my hair. Now that she has grown 2 tiny teeth, she uses them to her advantage dexterously. Usually I am too drowsy to take notice, and if it actually starts bothering me, I tactfully turn her legs towards my husband. It used to work fine till last month, my husband would snore off peacefully oblivious of all the thrashing going on. However, now that her motoring skills have improved quite a bit, she re-orients herself to target me again. Also, if all that fails, she resorts to her good old screaming which is a proven success. Whatever it takes, I am not allowed to sleep past 6 am. It may not look so early to some disciplined people out there, but believe me, it is excruciating for me.. more so coz' I go to bed only after midnight. Babies have an amazing sense of time.. My daughter is a 'whenever to sleep, early to rise' person. I just hope she continues being this way when she starts school :) Anyways, 6 o'clock I get out of the bed and make a nice big bottle of formula for her only to realise that she is not all that hungry. She eagerly takes the bottle only to refuse it some two-and-a-half minutes and half-an-ounce later. All she probably wants is some quality time with me before I get ready for the office. For some reason, she is extremely playful and lively in the mornings, though she has the same amount of sleep and rest as me, and considerably less than that taken by the rest of the family. She is so bright, almost scintillating, smiling just too often, and giggling even more, delightfully throwing her little arms and legs just anywhere. Quite recently, she has learnt to wave her arms, both in sync when you say 'bye' and some other forms of greeting as well, so she gleefully begins the practice right away... all this until another hour passes by and it is time for me to leave for work.. The mood suddenly changes when I pick up my purse and put on my shoes. Her antics stop abruptly and she looks so lost and out of sync, probably trying hard to figure out what takes me away from her for so long every day. She does not wave her arms when I say bye.. rather she stretches them out, her tiny fingers trying to hold my sleeve and her naughty grin replaced by a look I lack the courage to pen down. But I move into the car swiftly ignoring my little daughter, fighting my own guilt laden conscience..