Of travelling fathers and lonely daughters..

Husband is just back from a 3 day business trip. The man rarely travels for business and it is a big deal for the family when he does. The newly-minted 16 yo who generally avoids parents like plague is surprisingly and severely impacted. 'The house looks so vacant without Papa', she rues on Monday, the day following her Dad's departure. She spends most of Tuesday looking forlorn - 'I miss Papa so much.. when will he be back?' she asks. The child starts brightening up as Wednesday progresses and joyfully proclaims in the afternoon - 'Papa will be here tonight.. I am so excited!'. Most of the evening is spent checking the flight status and once he lands, tracking his transit from the airport to home. At times, I feel like I don't know this girl at all!

16 again..

..this time as a parent. I am wondering if that qualifies me as an expert. Frankly, I hit the motherhood jackpot and got a great deal - a extremely easy child to parent. So far, it has been a cakewalk, and if there is one thing that I don't want to change in my life - it is the child I have. I can count on my fingers, on one hand, the times or things that didn't work out between us. That is a lot given the 16 years together. Ok, why not! I will list the things that I didn't like about Pari.

1. Pari made me very very sick in-utero. I had the worst time and just about made it through. 

2. Pari didn't eat solid foods for the first 2 years of her life. Really, the stress of feeding her shortened our collective lives by many years.

3. This child didn't want to leave the house, like ever! I had to literally throw her out in the evenings to ensure that she gets some fresh air, if not exercise in the park. 

4. Pari quit Kathak despite progressing really well in the first 3 years. 2 reasons - firstly, her aversion to any kind of physical activity, and secondly, she found it very difficult to memorize and write long complicated sentences in Hindi in the dance theory exam. We didn't even collect the certificate for the grade 2 exam that she had appeared for, because Pari so strongly refused to pursue it further. 

I have run out of the things and still have the thumb left. Thumbs-up for Pari.. Happy 16!

Of lamp posts and academic success..

20.5.2022

Pari and I are watching a TV show depicting someone's inspirational journey from rags to riches. Both of us feel quite sad as we follow the lead character's struggle through endless hardships and abject poverty. It starts to feel really heavy, and I initiate small talk with Pari as a means to distract us from the show. 

Me: Pari, look how tough life is for this person. And he is not lone, this is the life for millions of kids around the world. 

Pari: Hmm..(uninterested and taciturn)

Me: (continuing despite no encouragement from the child) You see, how deprived he is? Just wait and watch how wildly successful he will become when he grows up. Success comes to those who beat adversity. What do you know? You are a privileged kid, lounging in aircon all day- at home and at school. 

Pari: Hmm..(knows where this leading to and evidently bored)

Me: The children who excel in all big exams are the children who study under a lamp post.

Pari: (suddenly, gets interested) theek hai.. to khareed do ek lamp post mere liye bhi!

(Alright, then buy me a lamp post too.)

I wonder if there is any point giving her any gyaan these days, or if my examples are just too dated to drive the point with kids.  We just go back to watching TV. 

मेरी माँ के तीन सवाल..

१. क्या खाना खाया?
२. क्या खा रही हो?
३. क्या खाना खाओगी?

Standard questions asked every day, on every call, except ofcourse when she is here with us, overfeeding us. I may sound irritated over the phone, but I love you so much, Mamma!

The Annual Day - First vs Second

[Warning: Long post, non-parents and disinterested men - please excuse!]

Pari had her Annual Day last Saturday, and as is the norm in this house, the parents were over-excited and hyper-ventilating while the child was calm and contained like a seasoned zen-practitioner. Since her last annual day is also so fresh in memory, mostly due to repeated watchings of the recording, a comparison seems inevitable. I had not done a post on that one owing to severe disappointment and a major heartbreak, and this looks like an opportune time to reflect on that as well.

To begin with, last year was Pari's first year in the montessori, and there was no dress code for her. This was a real sticky situation to be in because it meant that we could dress her up just anyway we wished and hence triggered a mad rush for the best possible dress. My heart was set on dressing her in a white satin and net frock, similar to one she had as a baby. Yes, I am superficial like that. We spent 2 long evenings checking out almost every shop of repute that stocked children's apparel, but couldn't find anything even close to what we had in mind. Pari ended up wearing a dress that was already part of her wardrobe. This year, she is among the older lot and was instructed to wear black tights with a plain, bright-coloured t-shirt without any logo or design. This wasn't easy either. With a reasonable effort we could get tights in her size but the shirt was very very difficut to find, specially because her size is so small. To cut a very long story short, we went to almost 40 shops over 3 days and couldn't find an absolutely plain T for her. Finally settled down for a UCB collared T, with the logo in silver. Thankfully they make their logos small and so it wasn't very conspicous.

The following noteworthy conversation happened during the marathon shopping session-

On entering the mall
Pari: Mumma, the smell of french fries is coming.
Me: Hmm.. okie. I'll buy you some. (Get her FF.)

As we enter a huge store
Pari: Mumma, the smell of toys is coming.
Me: ???

I don't know what toys smell like, but Pari sure has a sharp nose. The other day, I gave her khichdi, she remarked - Mumma, this is yummy. It smells of so much ghee.

So much for the deviation.. Pari defined 'Pink Saree' as the dress code for mumma, and mumma complied with it very sincerely. Papa was free to wear anything he fancied, who looks at men anyways and even a child as young as Pari knows it. I woke up on the D day with a stiff body, probably because of the anxiety. I remember similar symptoms before the annual day last year too. Flashback begins - Pari would repeat what looked like the script of some children's play, sing multiple songs with some random dance, get into yoga positions and all such things. We were happy to believe that she is participating in a big way. However, on the annual day, all she did was recite some nursery rhymes. Immediately after the rhymes got over, the Principal said - 'Now all the babies come over here', and she very gracefully obliged by moving to a corner with some 10 other tiny tots. The rest of the 1 hr program was taken forward by the older children. Disappointment is a mild word to describe what we felt. And during the course of the program, we realised she had been mouthing lines from the play meant for older children. Flashback Over!

This time around, Pari was actually part of almost all the activities. She is a big child now and the school knows it. She was part of the initial prayers, Yoga demonstration, and danced to Anjaana-Anjaani song with rehearsed actions. In fact, after the program, a couple of moms actually came over to say that she dances well! I think it was really kind of them to observe that, I being a mean mean mom, had eyes only for Pari. Actually I was capturing her on reel and had to zoom in to figure her out well. She is still tiny compared to the other children, and easy to loose in a group performance. And then there was the Gruffalow play. She played a snake there, trying to prey on a mouse. It was hilarious in more ways than one. Since the mouse was the central creature with lots of lines to remember and blurt out, it was played by a child in UKG. All the children playing predators to the mouse, like the owl, snake and such were actually nursery kids, half the size of the mouse. And just before the play began, the Principal came over and instructed the children to just say their lines, and not the other child's. That was some comic relief.

We returned home a very happy and proud family. Husband immediately sat down to finalize the DVD, so that copies could be made and distributed to anxious grandparents, aunts and uncles of the child. He kept the handycam for finalization on the dining table and sternly warned Pari and me to keep off the table lest we shake the handycam, only to bump into it himself seconds later. The copying got interrupted and we had to restart it. Once it was done, we played it in the DVD player only to realise that the DVD wasn't working. I started screaming at the poor man for spoiling my child's annual day recording. You see, I had not enjoyed her performance live because I was so keen on preserving it for posterity. And he had spoiled it all by bumping in the table and shaking the handycam. In his defence, the husband suggested that probably the DVD player is not working. How I hoped this would be the case! However, it did not play on his laptop as well. The happy family turned into a warring family and lot of melodrama ensued. Luckily, my laptop could play it, and saved us from an imminent divorce.

PS. Whoever has shown the courage to go through this mammoth post, will be rewarded with the pics of the Annual day in the next post, hopefully!

Pari strikes again!

I have been struggling with this desperate urge to blog for quite some time now, but things have been slightly busy at my end and my love for procrastination is no secret either. Moreover, I make a conscious effort to keep my blog happy, as in I try not to write if I am depressed or suicidal or 'divorcal'(is there a word for the urge to divorce??). I have two teenage sisters who follow the blog, and that is enough reason for me to keep it clean and not write anything that could potentially put them off marriage/children/middle-age.. Besides, I might be hunting matches for them in a few years from now, and it is absolutely necessary that the family believes that I am good at finding a match!

So much for not writing, now we come to the reasons for writing at this odd hour. I am mature enough to know that my not-blogging is no great loss to the blogging community. However, to me it is.. especially because Pari is back and churning out gems by the hour, and with my memory, I forget most of them the following hour. And it is a bigger loss to the father who will miss it entirely. Yes, the spouse is travelling for work to Noida and being a man of principles, he doesn't call me, like ever, from office(work-ethics), transit(traffic-rules) or home(family-time, he is staying with the IL's). And so he has no inkling as to what goes on in the household. However, the presence of the child, and the continued absence of the only maid that I had (Yes, I have 'NO DOMESTIC HELP' for the last 1 month) ensures that I have no time to even find out if the man’s indifference can serve as valid ground for a divorce. And if you think life couldn't get more interesting, the LPG got over and we spent 4 full days without a stove. The child, she refuses to eat anything except French fries outside the house, and demands milk 3 times a day in addition to her usual dal-rice. I went crazy trying to cook dal in the microwave, and running around with milk bottles begging people to boil the milk. On the positive side, I think I can expect a call from Survivor any day now.

Now the nice part, Pari has been entirely unpredictable since her return from Allahabad. My mom has indulged her heavily, and it shows in her behaviour. She took instant dislike to my not-so-flexible management and said the meanest things I have ever heard her say. I was truly crest-fallen and seriously contemplated having a second child, as the fall back 'budhape ka sahara'. Once she learns to read, Pari might hate me for putting it all here, but I would still share the two most shocking instances.

1. I go to the neighbour's house on some errand, and return in around 1/2 an hour after some invigorating gossip. I come back and ring the bell. Wait.. and again ring the bell. Now, I can clearly hear some argument behind the closed door between Pari and Papa, and assume that probably Pari wants to open the door for me. She likes doing that, at least she liked it before she went to Allahabad. Finally the door is opened by the husband, and Pari is sulking in the corner.
Me: Why didn't you let her open the door? Now, she is upset.
Husband: No, she didn't want to open the door. She is upset because I let you in. She was stopping me from opening the door, saying -'Don't open the door. Let Mumma stay outside.'
Horror!!

2. We are having dinner when I suddenly get hiccups. Even before the husband could notice, Pari screams -'Don't give her water. Let her have hiccups.'
Tell me if that isn't mean, what is?

Anyways, the husband left for Noida soon after, and you should see how this girl turned over a new leaf. She waited for Papa to return for a couple of days, and even cried for him. However, once it became clear to her that Papa is not returning anytime soon, and Mumma is who she has to make do with, she switched on her best behaviour. I mean, I'll just quote her here, these are some of the things she actually said to me-

1. Mumma, I can never be sad with you. I love you, and I will buy a lot of things for you.
2. You are so sweet Mumma! I am your daughter and all my things belong to you.(Of course they do, I bought them with my own money!)
3. Why doesn't the maid come? She is a lazy woman. My mumma has to wash utensils. I will help you mumma when I grow big.(I ask her when will she be big, and she says - Wait mumma, I am growing slowly!)

And such cheesy stuff. She is kissing me at the rate of 5 per minute, and if I happen to move, the ground that I had been standing on is smothered with affection. Sending her to the school and daycare is a cakewalk. If I just record her conduct for a day and sell it as an educational DVD, I am sure parents will queue up for a copy, just to show their wards how nice 4 yr olds can be.

For me, I am just happy to have my baby back, and glad that we are bonding big time. Though I am sure, things will not be the same once the father is back. But for now, I am basking in the glory of motherhood, and Pari keeps me sufficiently entertained. I am taking her down for cycling almost every other day and we go for long walks, where she provides me with useful insights on the world. Like when we came across a puddle, she pointed it out to me, 'Look mumma, a well. Do you know what a well is? It is a big hole and it is filled with water.' And then, there was little rise in the footpath, where it covered the drain to which she said -'Can I cross this bridge?' Thankfully, the official definition of bridge was not offered. At times, when I help her write, she says, 'Mumma you have become my teacher. You are my mumma and also my teacher.' However, the one that I liked the best was when I drove her to a restaurant - 'You have become a driver, but I still love you Mumma..' Thank you my child, I am so honoured!

Toddler's Rules of Possession..

This is sourced from the 'UC Berkeley Parents Network'. I really liked it and so sharing it here.. Hope you have a good laugh too!

Toddler's Rules of Possession

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.

6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically
becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

Pari with Mausi..

Some gems--

1. Before leaving for a wedding with Nani and Nanu..
Pari: Mausi, you will be alone here.
Mausi: No Pari, I will stay with Amma.
Pari: Hmmm... So you and Amma will be alone here!

2. Pari: Mausi, look at my new toothbrush.
Mausi: Wow Pari.. this is nice. I don't have a new toothbrush.
Pari: I will buy you a new toothbrush on you birthday..
Mausi: Thank you Pari.
Pari: ..and you buy me a Dora doll, a toy bicycle, Noddy book, big chocolates, a pink dress,....
Mausi: ??!!

And one with Nanu-
3. To amuse her, Papa is walking criss-cross across the room, making funny faces.
Mausi: Look Pari, how is Nanu walking..
Pari: He is walking like a drunk!
(Entire family is stunned into silence, I still can't believe she knows that word. I think she probably said 'Duck' and these people heard it wrong. Papa starts walking straight with a serious face, obviously!)
Pari: and now, he is 'marching'.

Pari is currently at my mom's place in Allahabad, it is 15 days since we last saw her. This is the first time that she is living without us, more importantly without me, since the husband has travelled several times since her birth, in fact he was travelling the very day she was born. She obviously misses us but is otherwise having a fun time. Whenever I call Alld, my sister puts the phone in her vicinity, and I can hear her chattering away to glory, playing, singing, bossing around. However, it is tougher for us. I usually try to stay positive, since I believe that we have sent her for a purpose. Moreover, she has 4 people at her beck and call, doing nothing but pampering her all the time, where as here, all she gets is school, daycare, and a couple of tired, stressed-out parents at the end of the day who snap at her at the slightest provocation. While sending her off, I always thought that the husband would miss her more than me, but as it turns out, it is me who is up at nights, sobbing and crying my eyes out with the husband consoling me. It is a strange feeling, missing a child is like missing a limb. I feel amputated, the feeling that something is missing never leaves me. And I am not sure if I still have a heart, there is just an aching hole at the designated place. Probably my heart just broke to make way for it.

Phew! Never thought I could be so melodramatic. My bigger concern is Pari's return. I plan to bring her back sometime around Christmas, and I fear that she will find it difficult to settle down with the routine here. I am sure the doting grandparents, greatgrandma and mausi are all busy spoiling my disciplined child to bits. How am I supposed to deal with that?

Of visiting a school after ages..

I am part of 'Yours Truly', a theater group in Bangalore. Last Saturday, we performed for children from 1st to 7th grade in a local school. I wasn't exactly a performer, rather a volunteer for backstage activities, which means once the play started, I had all the time in the world to sit back and enjoy the play, and ofcourse observe the children. I had not been to a school since I graduated from mine, and had almost forgotten what schools looked and felt like - over 500 little ones gathered at one place! And then, I suddenly realised that in a couple of years, Pari too would be a part of this crowd. It was discomforting to think that my baby, the most special person on planet Earth would be just a speck in this sea of children. But then, each of those 500 children was an individual most precious to his parents. And here they sat on the cemented ground in the summer sun. I felt a pang in my heart. When I go to pick Pari, I turn on the aircon 10 minutes before I reach her daycare so that she doesn't find the car hot when she steps in. But then, so is life. The children were remarkably unperturbed by the heat. They enjoyed the plays to the hilt and had a nice time.

The 2 plays performed followed the complete-the-story format. This means that the actors would stop the play midway, and ask the audience to suggest an ending. Now, the audience being so young, some of them looked like they still had their diapers on, I did not expect them to come up with much. And was I in for a shock! The children came up with suggestions that belied their ages. Some of them were genuinely funny, the kids had a great sense of humour and almost all their suggestions were very practical and relevant to real life. It was amazing to see the barely 7 year olds talk about stuff like plastic surgery and inner beauty. They clapped and cheered through out the performance, and waved to us when it was time to leave. The experience was overall enlightening and very gratifying.

On that note, YT has a big show scheduled for 21st Nov in Bangalore. Also running is a contest related to the show. Go for it!

Something about moms..

Pari has been going to a daycare from her montessori for the last 3 months. The school maid drops her there at 12.45 and I usually pick her in the evening around 6 pm. The moment I reach, Pari gets super happy and excited and starts running around the hall in circles. The running is mostly accompanied by dancing and singing as well. It takes almost 10 minutes for her to tire out, which is when the maids there hold her fast, put on her shoes and hand her over to me with bag and baggage. I am probably the first mom to reach, and all the other children, most younger to Pari are still there waiting for their parents to come and collect them. The babies are too young for school yet, and so they spend the entire day in the daycare. Some of them just walk/crawl to me and expect me to take them along. And that is when I feel embarrassed by Pari's mindless celebrations and cocky announcements-'My mumma has come..'. Gratifying as it may be, to see the child celebrating my arrival so much, I secretly wish that she would quietly walk out without rubbing it on the other children. But Pari being herself, does exactly the same thing every day, and the novelty of mumma coming to pick her from creche doesn't look like wearing off any time soon. If anything, her ability to run in circles without getting giddy is only improving.

Last Monday, my mom called up in the evening. I was unwell since the weekend, so she enquired about my health and then made a sudden announcement. She had got tickets booked in 'Tatkal' and was boarding a train to Bangalore on Wednesday, and that she would be here by Friday. I felt my heart do a quick running in circles, dancing and singing, the Pari way. It is still giddy with joy, and will take much more than 10minutes to tire out.

There is something about Moms.. ain't it?

New member in the family :)

My little Pari is now an elder sister. 'Pari Didi'- goodness, that sounds so amazingly high-handed, but its true all the same. And the coincidence lies here - I became a Didi on Sep 20th, Pari managed to beat me by one full day and 2 hours! Unlike me, who had a brother, Pari has a beautiful little sister to love, pamper and boss around. Yes, she is gorgeous from what we have heard so far - almost like Pari(my imagination, not confirmed yet) but with a lot more hair(confirmed) on that tiny head. The pictures are on the way.. will upload them soon. Please wish the proud new parents(Chachu & Chachi) and all of us a lot of luck with the little princess.

Edited to add: *Drumrolls* Here she comes..

Now what did I say, isn't she the most lovely?

Striking a balance in life..

..is all about doing things in style..

..and having fun while doing them..



..without compromising on education ofcourse!



Learning can be fun too..



..especially with extra-curriculars..



..that also include food!!

Monkeys, Mumma's & Money

Four little mumma's jumping on the bed
One fell down and bumped his head
Monkey called the doctor and the doctor said
No more mumma's jumping on the bed!!

Pari was singing it this morning. Is it only me who feels the rhyme is a little twisted, or can you also sense something fishy? When I asked her about it, she just grinned and ran off!

On a separate note, we are trying to instill the concept of money in her little head. She still believes in a 'free' world and uses her 'free will' to shop. And if she wants something, she simply points out saying that she doesn't have it. Is she entitled to own every single toy/trinket in the world? This is a really twisted way of demanding stuff. Just yesterday, she declared she has 'no' toys, "mere paas koi toys nahi hain", only because she did not have the particular one on display. Now somebody please define the stuff that keeps our home flooded all the time if she has 'no' toys. What bothers me more is her growing disrespect for food. Even before I can offer her something, she declares that she doesn't like it. And she keeps begging me not to cook, "Mumma, please khana mat banao", just so that she doesn't have to eat. And no, I am not terrible at baby food which is plain dal and rice. Last evening when she declined milk, I showed her the TOI front page which had a picture of children sitting in a neat row and eating dal-rice, part of the mid day meal program sponsored by the government. The following conversation ensued-

Me: Pari, look at all these children eating dal rice.
Pari: I don't like dal-rice.
M: Their mumma and papa are poor. They can't buy honeyloops, popcorn and cookies. They don't even get milk.
P: I don't like milk.
M: I know you don't. These children like milk, but they don't get it. Their mumma can't buy it for them.
P: And their Papa?
M: Their Papa also can't buy. He has no money.
P: But he can buy with his card!
M: !!

I tried to keep a straight face and tell her that you can't get a card if you have no money, but not sure if she got it right. She got busy looking closely at the children and enquiring about their names, location and such.

How do you explain money to children?

Of hair-cuts and heart-breaks..

The disadvantages of having a single child shared by two adults are many (though still less than the number required to convince me to have another :P). What makes them even more pronounced is that the two adults in this case, me and the husband think very differently and agree on absolutely nothing. Since Pari is still too young to have a free will, at least in matters which do not involve colours,cartoon characters and food, we attempt to impose our choices on her. The husband wants to take her for rock climbing while I wish to enroll her in swimming classes. The husband wants to buy her a football team tshirt with some 'Messi' on the back, with a name like that I am sure he would have messed it up big time, while I like buying nice strappy frocks for her. You would agree, it is not exactly a pleasure to have your most-beautiful-to-your-own-eyes daughter mistaken for a boy so often, all because she made a wrong choice at the foetal stage and took her father's nose,forehead,eyes and lips. And when it comes to a hair cut, there is no consensus at all. I want to get her hair cut and the husband wants to keep it long.

The fault is not entirely his, we have just 2 acquaintances who have girls Pari's age and both have chosen to keep the children's hair long. And while the little girls do look gorgeous, I personally find it difficult to handle long hair rooted on such small heads. Besides, I really don't think it is all that important to look good, at this small age or any age for that matter. For me, it is always convenience that gains precedence over appearance, which kind of explains my own inability to look good. So this time, when Pari's hair grew long enough for her to pass off as Mowgli(who she loves to bits), I insisted on getting a decent hair cut while the husband wanted to tie it up. We had long and tedious, sometimes violent discussions over it, but all in vain. And then I took the Gandhian route of non-cooperation. I refused to wash/oil/comb/touch the child's hair till it was cut to a manageable length. It worked like a charm. The battle was won, but the war continued. This time on where to go for the hair cut. Some of my loyal readers, if not all 4 of them, might remember this post where I lamented how Pari hates salons, and how I, being the dutiful mom that I am, manage to cut her hair myself. I was confident enough to argue that no matter where in the world the husband takes her, my baby would not let a stranger touch her head and come back running to Mumma's exclusive salon. I couldn't have been more wrong! My little birdie is already taking strides to girlhood . I am yet to make up my mind whether to celebrate or to rue. Enough said.. I'll let the pictures do the talking now.

Retirement plans..

Part of a chat with the husband today, about our trip to Allahabad. Posting it here to ensure he remembers it years later...

A: is baar mujhe bhi allahabad accha laga
quiet city and I liked that

me: :)

A: aur khafi ghooma bhi halaki katra and civil lines hi
par maza aaya

me: hmm...

A: mera sangam dekhne ka man tha
par time hi nahi mila

me: Allahabad has an old world charm to it
i was born there

A: accha

me: and would like to spend my last days also there
when i retire
and pari is married

A: accha

me: i shall go back to alld
and live quietly
peacefully

A: shehar logon se hota hain
kaun kaun bacha hain allahabad mein woh matter karega

me: dekho.. mere parents to wahin rahenge
papa to kahin nahi jayegne alld chhod kar

A: hmmm

me: pari ki shadi alld me kar denge
aur hum bhi wahin chale jayenge

A: agar tum choose karti ho ladka
allahabad mein kya karta hoga woh
???

me: Alld university me prof ho sakta hai
ya MNR me
ya medical college me doctor
ya high court me judge

A: hmmm
chalo main chai lekar aaya


Noticed how he fled for tea so suddenly :) And our sole concern in life is who Pari marries!! After all, there are just 15 short years left before she reaches the legal age.

Conversations..

Conversation with Pari this morning:
Pari : Mere papa kahaan hain? (Where is my Papa?)
Moi : Papa bathroom me hain. (Papa is in the bathroom.)
P: Papa bathroom me kya kar rahe hain? (What is Papa doing in the bathroom?)
M: Papa nai-nai kar rahe hain. (Papa is taking a bath.)
P: Kaun nai-nai kar raha hai? (Who is taking a bath?)
M: Papa nai-nai kar rahe hain. (Papa is taking a bath.)
P: Kiske papa nai-nai kar rahe hain? (Whose Papa is taking a bath?)

Aaargh.. kill me now! I so pity stay at home moms. What is with these kids asking useless questions that they already know the answers for, one after the other in the KBC fashion with only more questions for reward. To be fair, she does ask other questions too, probably reasonable for a child but they get my goat. Sample these -

1. Where is Paltu's mumma?
2. Where is that man going? (It can be any random person on the street.)
3. What is Golu doing at this time? (Golu is a friend's daughter.)
4. When will Lucy go to school? (Lucy is a girl teddy bear, if you can imagine that!)
5. What does Papa do in the office? (Hehehe... that was easy... I replied 'nothing'!! But then there were followup questions, sigh!)

And so on and so forth.. and her montessori Principal says, we should not discourage children from asking questions. I remember Pari asking the Principal, 'where are the children?', when we went to collect her progress report, and the Principal taking pains to explain it to her. But honestly, despite trying really hard, I sometimes lose patience with her never ending questions. At the same time, I have a strong feeling that it is only a few years before we start asking questions that Pari would find senseless and unworthy of her time!!

Excluding questions, conversations with Pari are growing increasingly interesting these days. There are so many that I wish to put down here, just to preserve them for eternity. I'll put the most recent one here, before laziness seeps in and I forget it. This one was last Sunday.

Pari: What is this mumma?
Moi: A cockroach.
P: ye mar gaya hai?
M: yes(wondering if she really knows 'marna')
P: Papa ne ise 'maraa' diya hai?
M: Hmm..
P: You don't worry mumma. I will tell the cockroach. Cockroach, you don't bite my mumma. Tum 'already' mar chuke ho!

The last sentence really cracked me up, specially the use of 'already'. Post this, we went out to get some groceries. By the time we came back, the cockroach had somehow managed to turn over to be back on its legs, and started running just as we turned in the key. Pari immediately climbed on the bed, and started screaming.

P: Mumma, cockroach is running.
M: Wait, I'll get Hit(pesticide, sprayed some of it on the poor thing till it died)
P: Mumma, tumne ise 'maraa' diya?
M: Yes.
P: (Climbing down the bed) You don't worry mumma.. I will tell the cockroach. Cockroach, you don't bite my mumma, tum 'phir se' mar chuke ho!

Thank you my child.. I really need protection against dead cockroaches!

Pappu pass ho gaya!

Yes.. our little Pari has moved to the next grade, or so I think. We recieved the Progress Report today and I must admit it made us incredibly proud though there was no mention of any promotion. What it did say was that the child has mastered skills like pouring, rolling, napkin folding, dusting, sweeping, mopping(which I incidently read as 'moping' and agreed almost immediately) and chopping. Er.. are we sending her to the right place?? Anyways, there was also a mention of skills that needed more practice viz. lacing, button holes and tying belts. Lacing was kind of expected, since I couldn't tie my shoe laces till almost the 4th standard. I don't remember much trouble with buttoning, except that I often messed up the order missing a couple of holes in the process. And tying belts, how can I forget that.. my mom used to put elastic waist bands in all my pajamas because I could never tie those strings. So we can safely assume that the genes did trickle down.. and I am grateful for that. Because for all we know, she might just turn up pretty, bright and virtuous courtesy these very genes :) And not just that, all her following progress reports will be as delightful if not more :D

All in all, it was a good report and the Principal had only good things to say about Pari. I strongly feel she said the same nice sounding stuff to at least 95% of the parents and tried hard to explain the same to the indulgent father. The father, he needs a special mention here. We were required to reach the school at 9 am, and it is 200 meters from our house, ignore that we always take the car. Guess who was up at 7 am unlike on office days, took an elaborate bath, shampooed, shaved, pruned and emptied the D&G spray on self after dressing in his Sunday best on a Saturday... And who prayed an extra 10 minutes to ensure that the very important day went off well. Yes.. the father! He absorbed every word that the Principal uttered and broadcasted her feedback on Pari verbatim to all relatives, grand parents, aunts & uncles over the telephone. The old man has been sporting a very silly grin the entire day, and when I last checked on him, he was checking out trampolines on ebay. Offcourse, you would agree that daughter dearest deserves a special gift for her exceptional performance in the playgroup. He is the same man who has gifted me 3 Calvin n Hobbes paperbacks for the 3 birthdays I have had post wedding. How I wish that he had adopted me instead of marrying me!

Summer Camps

Pari's 'first' summer vacations are fast approaching, and we are excited. As a rule of thumb, we feel obliged to feel excited at all things on her behalf, since she is too young to comprehend and feel the thrill, be it the annual day, or distribution of progress reports. It is us who go with throbbing hearts and shaky nerves while Pari goes in with the calm demeanour of one going around his usual business. This reminds that I have not provided any updates on Pari since long, and there has been so much.. her third B'day, annual day, Yercaud trip. All these are things I want to write about and preserve for posterity.

Coming back to summer vacations, I did not really view it as something significant, so it shocked me to see parents regard and gear up for vacations as if it were an impending calamity. We, as a matter of fact had not thought of it at all. After all, last year this time Pari stayed at home all day long with the maid - eating, sleeping, playing and watching TV as is appropriate for a toddler. And honestly, even as teenagers, that is how we spent all our summer/winter/dussera/Christmas vacations. The TV and the walls around would change periodically, while we visited our Nani in Delhi for the vacations. But apart from that, there was nothing else that we did. Our days were full of fun just doing nothing and learning zilch. Even the holiday homework was picked up only the week before the school reopening, so busy were we enjoying the holidays. And here, schools have not even pulled their shutters down, and we are flooded with summer camps. They are all over the place - colorful banners, posters, brochures, print advertisements, even radio ads all announcing different summer camps, promising to keep our children engaged in the most productive manner. And parents are running like headless chickens to procure an entry for their chicks. Now I know why I did not do well in life.. my parents never sent me to a summer camp. But what the hell happened to visits to grandparents? I had just one set of grandparents to visit since we stayed permanently with the others. Pari lives in a nuclear family and has both the options wide open. Apart from that, she has several add-on sets of grandparents, like my aunts who are willing to trade their left eye and right arm to host her for the vacations. The family is, to summarize, an acute case of 'Parimania'. I feel so tempted to bundle her off to camp at one of these places but for the husband. My old man cannot do without Pari. He cannot sleep till Pari plants some tight kicks in the pit of his stomach, gets his daily workout by running after her every evening with the dinner and finds the task of picking Pari from school in the hot summer afternoons 'highly gratifying'. Courtesy Darling Daddy, Pari might just end up in a 'Summer Camp'!

What would you do..

..with a 2.5 year old, her mouth stuffed with food, her nanny chasing her all over the place with the dinner, and her father blaring at regular intervals- 'Finish karo', when she lovingly places herself between the laptop and you and screams-'Mama, mujhko bhookh lagi (I am hungry)!!!

Or the same little one, who scampers off to fetch her dupatta and drapes it religiously around her neck when you take her out to buy vegetables.

The child who pulls a chair all the way from the far end of the dining table to sit next to you, and after all the hard work, plonks herself in your lap.

Who screams 'This is very bad' in a matronly manner every time the husband is sighted within 5 feet in your vicinity and strategically places herself between the two of you. And corrects you every time you call the maid by her name--'Shaila nahi bolte, didi bolte hain'!!

Who snatches away the calculator from you and complains angrily-'mera alligator chhoo raha hai'.. God knows, I wouldn't have touched it had I known it is an 'alligator'.

The imp who observes you curiously while you dress up gaudily for Karwachauth, before asking- 'Mumma, aaj tum ka saadi hai kya'... aargghh.. not again..

The greedy chick who peeks into the tin of Haldiram Gulabjamuns and squeals with delight -'Laddu swimming in the water'!!

And finally, the little Ms. Know-it-all, who looks at you with disdain, when you try to trick her into eating pasta by calling it noodles, and dismisses you - 'ye spaghetti hai, noodles nahi'.. If only the earth opens up now...

Hot cuss bunzzz..

..Hot cuss bunzzz
iffofofo daughtenz
givevavava sonz
one-na penny two-a-penny
Hot cuss bunzzz..

Pari sings the rhyme with the 'cuss' word as I try to put her to sleep. The old man glued to the TV outside has no idea what he is missing!