Sunday, February 13, 2011

It is official now..

..the husband-man is cheating on me. Trust me, it was in the newspapers today. The highly-dependable Times of India has duly reported that a mole on the right cheek indicates a cheating husband. Ironically, it is not even the poor man's fault. I mean I have always had that mole on my right cheek, so no matter who I marry, the person is bound to cheat on me. Even if my old man were born an epitome of virtue and loyalty, he automatically transformed into a womaniser the day of the wedding, such is the power of the mole. What really amazes me is that the morphing happened in such a subtle fashion that even a smart girl like yours truly took 5 long years to realise it. Anyways, now that I know it for a fact that the man's crooked, I am leaving no stone unturned to uncover his misdemeanors. And considering that the effort started only around 10 am this morning, after I read the newspaper and finished my breakfast, I am rather proud of my progress so far, proud enough to share it with you here-

1. The man has always been very supportive of my travelling for work/study/fun. Immediately after the alliance, he insisted that I go for an onsite assignment. When I turned it down, he made arrangements for his own travel and flew to the US for almost 3 months, no less! Currently, he is pushing me for an MBA, though I am not willing to take the risk in view of the recent discovery.

2. He can never remember important dates, not even the anniversary when we are together.. however, once away he sends me the most clichéd gifts on all our special occasions and otherwise without miss. And poor me, I always thought it is in tune with the adage 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. Now I know, the gifts are driven by guilt rather than affection.

3. He doesn't call me, like ever once he steps out of the house. It is anybody's guess as to what keeps him 'busy'.

4. And last but not the least, reverse psychology. Sample this incident from last night - our car is covered in layers of dust. On the window pane, some one wrote a love note replete with a heart struck by the cupid's arrow, all in the dust. Before I could even question him about it, the spouse comes and insists that someone wrote it for me. 'For me'-- of all the people?? It is easier to believe that it was written for the car itself. Innocent me falls for the ploy, gets distracted and defensive, while the old man has a good laugh.

Finally, if all of the above falls short in implicating the husband, I still have the mole for proof!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

लोग घर छोड़ कर जाते हैं और तमाम ज़िन्दगी अमेरिका, ऑस्ट्रेलिया और यूरोप में काट देते हैं। जाने कैसे? मेरे ९५% के लगभग जानने वाले बारहवी जमात के बाद जो घर से निकले तो फिर वापस पलट कर न आ सकें। मुझे भी घर छोड़े तकरीबन साढ़े सात बरस हो गए हैं लेकिन आज भी अक्सर आँख लगती है और मैं वापस इलाहाबाद की गलियों में घूमने लगती हूँ। बचपन एक साये की तरह सर पर घूमता है और लड़कपन फ़िर अंगड़ाई लेने लगता है। पिछला दशक कहीं तो खो जाता है और मैं फिर वही १९ साल की किशोरी बन जाती हूँ, अपनी ४ साल की बेटी, ५ साल की शादी, ७ साल की नौकरी, रुपया- पैसा, आर्थिक उत्थान, सामाजिक उन्नति और आत्मिक पतन सब भूल कर अपने पैतृक गृह की छत पर खड़ी हो जाती हूँ, बादलों को देखती और उनके फूटने का इंतज़ार करती। ज़िन्दगी बहुत आगे बढ़ गयी है, शायद इतनी तेज़ी से कि मेरा सुस्त दिमाग़ उसके साथ कदम नहीं मिला पाया, उसकी तरक्की को रजिस्टर ही नहीं कर पाया। ऐसा लगता है की मेरी काया तो साथ आई लेकिन आत्मा वहीँ जम गयी और पीछे ही कहीं छूट गयी है। कितनी ही बार होता है कि सो कर उठती हूँ और बिलकुल भौचक्की हो जाती हूँ कि कहाँ हूँ और यहाँ कैसे पहुंच गयी। आज भी ऐसा ही हुआ, और इस हद तक कि फ़िर से आँखें मूंदने में डर लगने लगा। हम जल्दी ही इस शहर से भी जाने वाले हैं, और मेरी सबसे बड़ी चिंता यहीं है कि फ़िर से दिमाग़ को रिसेट कैसे करूंगी।

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

5 years today..

धन से न दुनिया से

घर से न द्वार से

साँसों की डोर बंधी है

प्रीतम के प्यार से

दुनिया छूटे पर न टूटे

ये कैसा बंधन है..

It is five years today since we entered the aforementioned 'Bandhan'! The occasion demands a mushy post, but I'll rather spare the torture. I would just stick to doing what I do the best- 'plagiarize' and put it elegantly-- 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of credulity...'. Now that I have 2 writers turning in their graves already, let me conclude the post with some original stuff.

I have no clue as to why I like this particular picture so much, we both are looking quite awkward in it. Still, the fondness is probably because we are genuinely smiling in this one, unlike the zillion other pics where we had to fake as many smiles for the pushy photographers.