Sunday, February 13, 2011

It is official now..

..the husband-man is cheating on me. Trust me, it was in the newspapers today. The highly-dependable Times of India has duly reported that a mole on the right cheek indicates a cheating husband. Ironically, it is not even the poor man's fault. I mean I have always had that mole on my right cheek, so no matter who I marry, the person is bound to cheat on me. Even if my old man were born an epitome of virtue and loyalty, he automatically transformed into a womaniser the day of the wedding, such is the power of the mole. What really amazes me is that the morphing happened in such a subtle fashion that even a smart girl like yours truly took 5 long years to realise it. Anyways, now that I know it for a fact that the man's crooked, I am leaving no stone unturned to uncover his misdemeanors. And considering that the effort started only around 10 am this morning, after I read the newspaper and finished my breakfast, I am rather proud of my progress so far, proud enough to share it with you here-

1. The man has always been very supportive of my travelling for work/study/fun. Immediately after the alliance, he insisted that I go for an onsite assignment. When I turned it down, he made arrangements for his own travel and flew to the US for almost 3 months, no less! Currently, he is pushing me for an MBA, though I am not willing to take the risk in view of the recent discovery.

2. He can never remember important dates, not even the anniversary when we are together.. however, once away he sends me the most clichéd gifts on all our special occasions and otherwise without miss. And poor me, I always thought it is in tune with the adage 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. Now I know, the gifts are driven by guilt rather than affection.

3. He doesn't call me, like ever once he steps out of the house. It is anybody's guess as to what keeps him 'busy'.

4. And last but not the least, reverse psychology. Sample this incident from last night - our car is covered in layers of dust. On the window pane, some one wrote a love note replete with a heart struck by the cupid's arrow, all in the dust. Before I could even question him about it, the spouse comes and insists that someone wrote it for me. 'For me'-- of all the people?? It is easier to believe that it was written for the car itself. Innocent me falls for the ploy, gets distracted and defensive, while the old man has a good laugh.

Finally, if all of the above falls short in implicating the husband, I still have the mole for proof!


Rohini said...

IFC. The stuff Times of India passes off as 'news'

Violet said...

My personal favorite is Aaj Tak :P

Banno said...

Ha, ha. But isn't the mole supposed to be on his cheek, for him to qualify as cheating? By the way, read your Hindi post, really nice. And the wedding photo, I can see why you like it.

Violet said...

Thanks Banno! 'The mole on a woman's left cheek indicates a cheating husband', is what was reported. Now, who says women don't control their lives.. they can even influence destiny :P