Saturday, April 2, 2011

Good bye Bangalore!

Its been around 2 days since I left Bangalore, and I am already missing it like hell. The thought that I might not go back there ever is killing me, and I am probably as miserable as I was when I left Allahabad for good. Bangalore was the only other home known to me. For all I know, I would have missed it even if I were shifting to Allahabad, the stuff that my dreams are spun of. As of now, I am going to a strange city among strange people to do something I have absolutely no clue about.. big consolation indeed! And for this noble cause, I have given up my home of 5 yrs, my husband of 5 yrs & best-friend of another 2 yrs, my daughter and lifeline of 4 yrs, all friends made over the last 8 yrs and my workplace of over 3 yrs. Most of it has obvious impact, except for the workplace which is why I need to elaborate on it. I loved my workplace, and it loved me right back. I did not make great career strides here, probably the most relaxed phase of my career till now, but it did allow me to balance my personal life and work without guilt. My daughter grew for an infant to a confident little girl during this time, and I cannot be any less grateful for that. Also, I met some amazing people here and forged bonds for life. To top it all, I was due for a considerable hike and a promotion. Tell me, which woman in her right mind would give up such a job? I did.

Time for thoughts on Bangalore. I love the city, the people and the culture. Unlike most people from north, who find everything wrong with the southern part, and like-minded southerners who look down on north, I really like Bangalore. And I know the city better than Allahabad, what with changing 5 houses and 5 companies. Also, I was a homing pigeon in Alld, content sitting at home by my window, reading and dreaming, secure in the warmth of my loving family. Bangalore was where I grew up from a naive young girl to an independent woman. It is here that I fell in love, got married, had a child and graduated from being a daughter to a mother. It is here that I learnt self-reliance away from my protective parents, and learnt to take care of myself, well almost. Taking care of myself meant marrying the man who took care of me, and then leaving it all to him.

Leaving a city that means so much to you is never easy, much less for a person who tends to get attached to stuff like me. I feel uprooted, and bruised. I feel disorientated and lonely. I want to cry my heart out, bawl my head off. It might be another week before I get to do that. For now, I just hope we win the world cup today. It might serve as a temporary distraction and save me at least some disappointment.


Anant said...

Change is difficult for everyone. Nobody knows what the future holds. At least you will get to experience hostel life for the first time :D.

Wafter said...

Very well written to sum up your bangalore life beautifully.

AJ is absolutely right. You might start enjoying hostel life ! you dont have to worry about food- good or bad...its right there. During my MBA i had to worry about everything - transportation, buying stuff for cooking and then cooking itself....and it used to suck a lot during exams or when a paper was due....

I also agree with you. People may say anything, but Bangalore is my favorite city in India. There is a feeling of being one among your own (education and qualification wise) which no other city gave to me. The weather is the best.

Banno said...

That sounds tough. Good luck with it.

Violet said...

Anant - As you already know, it is still not hostel life for me. Just a life with no family, and you!

Wafter - Thank you. I think it is going to be easier for me, since cooking is out. Also, the culture shock will not be as great. I have a flat for myself, so it is not exactly a hostel. And you nailed it, 'the feeling of being one among your own' is what I would miss the most about Bangalore.

Banno - Thank you! I hope to pull it off..