Pari'ism 11-12-2012: Of nice dreams

Pari is unwell and sleeping. I am working from home. I wrap up my work, and try to wake up her up, anticipating a very cranky child in my hands. She opens her eyes slowly, and most unexpectedly- smiles. I am very surprised, but still manage to smile back.

Pari --'I had such a nice dream'.
Moi -- 'Oh really.. can I also have that dream?'
P -- 'You sleep with me, then we will dream together.'
M -- 'Sure baby, but why don't you tell me about it first?'
P -- 'I saw a cat doing potty and susu on a dog(looks very very pleased). Mumma, now come sleep with me.'

I don't want to sleep.. I think I'll just skip that nightmare.. dream.. whatever!!

Some Observations..

 1. The quickest way to get a child hungry--

Ask her to study. Instant hunger pangs guaranteed!

2. The easiest way to get a child like her food--

Ask her to study. She will show the willingness to eat just about anything.. khichdi will be consumed@frenchfries.

3.The surest way to make a hyperactive child sober down--

Ask her to study. She will grow unusually quiet, appear betrayed and completely miserable.

4. The simplest way to get a clingy child off your back--

Ask her to study. The child will disappear promptly, and you will not get to see her for the next couple of hours.

5. The fastest way to put a wide-awake child to bed--

Ask her to study. The wide-open eyes would begin to droop with immediate effect.

ps. The above advice is based on my experience with a certain specimen I just happen to know. The subject under observation experienced huge variations in temperatures, unexplained tiredness, crankiness and significant discomfort coupled with uncontrollable bouts of yawning under the test conditions-- i.e. when asked to study. Also evident was her heightened interest in the surroundings --eraser/crayons/insects/fan/street lights and such.. again under the test conditions. Other side effects noticed were increased incidences of thirst and the repeated use of toilet. Because of the small sample size and completely random sampling, individual experiences my differ slightly or...  hugely.

GREED DOESNT PAY, DATED: 2-11-12

One day, Fina fox saw Rafisa Rabbit dozing in the meadow. Wow! She'll be my next meal. Suddenly, Fina saw Kafisa Crow with Minna Mouse in her beak. I'll eat Minna first she thout(sic). She growled at Kafisa and a fritened(sic) Kafisa dropped Minna and flew away. Minna fel over sleeping Rafisa and woke her up. Rafisa and Minna ran into a burrow. Fina dug outside the burrow but contn catch them. I lost everything because of my greed.

Pari has written this story in her drawing book with illustrations. Though she has written it sitting before us all through, and so we know that it isn't copied, we obviously don't expect the plot to be an original.. and it isn't.. which is actually good, else I would've seriously fainted!  The good child is still baby enough to admit very candidly-- 'I've read this story in a magazine. But all the names are my own.' Not bad, I would say.. Fina, Rafisa, Kafisa -- boy.. it almost feels like sitting through a mushaira.

As you can guess, the poor child is bored beyond limits, courtesy the month long school holidays.. for Diwali.. what else! And this boredom has led to an unprecedented surge of creativity-- she makes greeting cards, several in number for each member of the extended family to cover every possible occasion-- birthdays, new yr, diwali, and such. We may need to rent a warehouse to store all these cards. And then the drawing book gets over, which means all the pages have been torn and folded into half to resemble greeting cards, with every corner filled with either art-work or loving messages, and not to forget-- her 'signature' which depends on the name she has chosen for the day.. the current favourite being 'Nisha/Missika'. Yes, Pari is very dissatisfied with her given name, and keeps renaming herself. The way she chooses her names is pretty interesting and warrants a separate post in itself. Alright.. where were we? Yes, when the drawing book gets over, she writes stories. This one was written almost a month back, and as I mentioned-- plagiarised. However, she has written some original stories since, very evident from the 'maturity' of the plot and the completely unrelated moral of the said story. Mind you-- all stories always have morals at the end. We usually lose most stories, because she writes them on the slate, and clears it off to make way for the new story. At times, she writes on some loose sheets, which get lost. I currently have just 2 saved on me, and am very determined to put down both of them here. Well.. losing them is not a great loss to humanity, but to my motherhood, it is.

Pari'ism 9/11/2012

In the one year that she has spent away from us, Pari has developed some really good communication skills-- too good for her age if you ask me. I mean --I left a baby, and received a teenager -- what happened to the wonder years? Actually, it is not all that bad, and I should be grateful for my parents, my grandmom and my two young sisters for nurturing her so well, that she picked up significantly from each of them. She uses phrases that nobody but my grandmother uses, her vocabulary has grown manifold thanks to my mom, and my sisters-- well, the engineering college lingo is their contribution to her vocab. And let us not even get started on my Dad  -- she is rhyming words, and can come up with really mean limericks, sigh! Alright, so this post is devoted to Pari's current way of talking -- sentences/statements perfectly fine for an adult, but which sound overly preposterous when pouring out of a small pink mouth.. which has just shed its first baby tooth.

1. Pari is irritated with the maid -- the lady is actually quite dull and cannot understand most things that Pari tries to tell her. So I attempt to mediate and reason out with her.

Me -- Pari, Auntie doesn't understand in one go. You need to say it slowly and repeat it for her to understand.
Pari -- Mumma, I am TIRED of explaining things to her.

Tired?? Already?? The maid has been here for less than 3 weeks!

2. We go for a PTM to her school, where the staff hands out a feedback form to me. Since the other parents show no inclination of letting go of the teacher anytime soon, and I really have no big concerns.. I just fill in whatever little I have in the form. Pari asks for it, and I am very sure she doesn't read much of it, since she returns it to Papa soon, and whispers in his ear--
'Papa, Mumma has written all rubbish..'

The husband, being the husband, doesn't chide the child for her insolence.. Just continues to smile ear-to-ear. I swear, if I ever go to a PTM again..

3. Well, to be fair to her, not all of her talk is negative, but honestly, I can't remember the good ones now. A recent was the usage of 'rather' -- I ask her to show me her broken tooth and she says--
'Don't look at it Mumma, it is rather scary..'
Also, she said something like -- 'I would rather go to sleep than do this'.

Well.. I am 'rather' impressed, haha.  BTW, that is also one word I  have heard her using recently, that being 'impressed' :D

And then there are phrases that really crack me up.. like when I ask her something.. she pauses, pretends to think and says.. "Well... I don't think I know this.." This leaves me frothing --"Why do you have to think, you either know it or you don't.. bah..". Tell me, since when have 5  yo's started thinking, and using 'Well..' with a pause, in a grandmotherly fashion??

Pari'ism 13-08-2012

The work-week has just started, and I have tons of things to do. So this is going to be a really quick one. Before we start on Pari, I have a strong urge to share this with you -- After 4 months in the city, I have finally managed to locate a VLCC parlour in Mumbai, and also made time to visit it for a quick facial. The sense of achievement & accomplishment is overwhelming, and I am completely OTT. My mom says that I look the same as before- only greasier, after the facial. It really doesn't ruffle me. I am a girl who believes in trying irrespective of how bleak things look.. and then, I look at parlour visits as a strategic thing, with little immediate gratification -- just an hour of complete inactivity/relaxation perhaps. I hope to reap the benefits in my old age, when my comtemporaries have 250 wrinkles, I would hopefully have just 245..

Coming to Pari, she is reading an animal encyclopedia these days, and is totally fascinated with monkeys, fishes and birds. Just yesterday, she draped a plain 'white' sheet on her shoulders, stretched her arms and flapped them to become a bird. She declared that she is a peacock, and the following conversation ensued--

P. -- Nani, look at me.. how do I look?
Nani -- Oh yes, you look like a very colorful?? peacock.
P. -- And look --what are these..
N. -- (can't see anything..) I am trying to see..
P. -- I have laid 4 eggs.
N. -- Hmm.. okie.
P. -- It is a very important time, my eggs are hatching.. I have to go..
N. -- Hmm..

Pari returns after a couple of minutes..

P. -- Nani, look -- I have 4 beautiful peahens -- all girls.
N. -- (not sure what to say..) yes, they are nice..

I somehow couldn't resist the temptation anymore.. and jumped into the conversation--

Me -- Pari, Can I have 2 of your eggs?
P -- Why do you want them
M -- To make omelette for Papa.
P -- (Aghast..) Nooooooo.. they are my babies. You can't break my eggs (forgetting that they have already hatched.)
M --Alright,  I won't break them, perhaps I can just boil them for Papa..
P -- No.. how can you be so wicked Mumma..

She continued to play her with chicks/peahens whatever.. when I made the last ditch effort.

M -- Pari, can you give me your chicks?
P -- now why?
M -- I can make some curry for Papa..
P -- (Overcome with emotion, screaming) Nooooo.. you cannot eat my babies. You are a wicked mumma..

By then, my mom was already screaming at me for making Pari scream, and I just left it there.

Don't hate me please, I wouldn't eat them if they were real chicks. I am anyways a lamb person..

Pari'ism 8/6/2012

I have been thinking of starting this series for a long time now, mostly because --

1. Pari is back with us, and I can share on this blog, the pearls of wisdoms that she so generously tosses at us.. each of which keeps us smiling for a couple of days, and then gets lost, like it never happened..  As I always say, the posts on her are mostly to remind us of her childhood, which will become a thing of past sooner than we think. Ofcos', all those who find joy in these anecdotes, are most welcome to the blog, I really like it when I get comments from you :)

2. I am really pressed for time, and it is a tough call to spend it writing about her, instead of actually being with her. With this series, like the Joka series, I spend no time thinking about the title, or even providing a background.. I can just get down to business..

Alright. So here are the most recent ones. There are others which my mom keeps mentioning offhandedly whenever we talk about her stay in Alld., shall try to put them down when I see you next.

After a particularly bad day of misbehaviour, cheekiness and such, we have the following conversation--
Mumma -- Pari, you have been misbehaving so much. You have broken my heart today..
Pari -- Hmm.. (looks intently at me for say 15 secs.. ) But is it still pumping blood?!!

She takes everything literally.. so much that when I tell her to stop dreaming(when she isn't paying attention to what I am saying), she is outraged --'I am not dreaming. I am not even sleeping, then how can I dream??'

Someone needs training in metaphors, proverbs & figures of speech. And some other people need to be trained in talking to 5 yo's -- in a way they would understand.

Of taking 'inatives' and arrythmia

If I were still a student with just myself to take care of, no household responsibilities and endless time on my hands, I would have probably just rambled on about whatever I felt like. But as you might be already aware.. I am not a student anymore. I am a working mom and wife, and a professional who thinks she does earth shaking stuff everyday(disclaimer: my perception, not necessarily the organisation's), and so I choose to behave more responsible, especially while churning out posts during my supposedly working hours. I have decided to begin each post with a set agenda in mind, and sign off as soon as the items therein are checked off. This post has a twin agenda--

1. Taking Inative-- Not everyone takes 'inatives', or initiatives as folks over the age of 5 yrs may call. I am unreasonably proud to report that my little Pari has taken some serious initiative in her school and has been awarded a certificate for the same. This is the first ever certificate of achievement/merit for my little girl, so please pardon the chuffed mumma. However, the exact initiative taken by the child remains a mystery, which can only be revealed by her teacher/principal. Pari has absolutely no idea of her reward-worthy initiative, but she is happy and proud all the same.

2. Arrythmia aka 'Fluttering of heart'-- It is really not a rare phenomenon, not for me atleast. My heart skips a beat or two quite often-- the sight of adorable children: Pari/Chia/Akshat.. not necessarily in that order, Chia is 1.5 yrs old and currently tops the cuteness quotient, or of drool-worthy adults like Jude Law and Hugh Grant, the rentals in Mumbai, the apartments available at those prices and such. Then what makes this one mention-worthy? Well.. it was caused by my husband of the last 6 years, something not experienced in the last 5 years. Last night, we were playing cards, me, husband, bua-phuphaji, and a couple of other relatives. The husband dealt the cards, and somehow won the game. Now, this is an unusual situation, if we play cards, there is only one-in-a-million probability of him winning the game.. and so when it happens, he is obviously look at with suspicion. He was accused of cheating and the man retorted with a very mischievous look. I don't know.. he wasn't even looking at me, but I had this abrupt twinge in my heart, and a sudden conviction --'Lord.. I so love this man'. I am not sure if it makes any sense at all.. to feel this way for a man you have been with, since like forever. But I did feel that, and it felt really good to feel that way. What would I not give to feel like that perhaps just once a month.. it would keep us together, going strong and good for the next 100 years.